Ever find yourself in a place of wanting to be undistracted, unguarded, fully engaged, and present?
That was me at the beginning of this month, desiring nothing more than to be fully present. In fact, it’s something I’ve focused on for a lot of this journey.
With no assigned ministry, my team was called to ATL (Ask The Lord) this month. We spent time in prayer asking the Holy Spirit to lead us where He wanted us to go, doing what He wanted us to do.
Intentionally trusting and obeying the still small voice everyday required a level of faith I wasn’t completely comfortable with, but I was ready for the challenge. Expectant.
Because isn’t that right where the Lord wants us?
On the edge of life, depending fully on Him. That’s the adventure- knowing for certain God wants to use us, but not always knowing for certain how.
I believe the gift of presence is a rare and beautiful thing. Often times I find myself distracted, guarded, always thinking of what’s next, half-heartedly engaging in conversation, and so the thought of intentionally choosing not to be those things was exactly what I wanted to fight for.
Why?
Something I’ve realized on this journey is that when we offer ourselves to others we’re choosing to live above the striving to be, and instead are accepting to just be. No to-dos, no distractions, no comparison- we’re setting all of that aside and we focus on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable [Philippians 4:8].
It isn’t easy.
In fact, I failed quite a few times this month, but what the Lord was and is continuing to teach me is that it’s not as much a matter of wanting to be fully present, but rather it’s a matter of willing to be in His Presence. When we’re wanting and willing more than anything to be fully immersed in His Presence, he’ll bring the present to us in full!
I had walked past his place three times, declining his offer to sit and have tea. It was our first few days on the island and I wanted to get comfortable. I wanted to make myself at home first.
I was on my way back from a sweaty, hot 3 mile walk, carrying 20 pounds of water, bound and determined to make it to our tents to take the load off, when I felt a nudge in my gut. Aware that we were approaching his place again, I heard that still small voice saying “on earth as it is in heaven.”
Your way Jesus, not mine.
This was a moment I was to use a key of the kingdom, to bring heaven to earth, to feel His Presence and choose to be present.
“I will give you keys of the kingdom of heaven;
whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven,
and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
Matthew 16:18-19
As we got closer I heard his salutation and with little hesitation my teammate and I sat down. He poured a cup of tea, and offered us some fruit. As we sat there in conversation, tourist after tourist passed by declining his offers to have a seat.
Ouch. I was just like the rest of them. Stubborn, prideful, distracted, ignorant to an open invitation. I can’t deny it.
I’m inviting You completely into this- to soften my hardened heart, to knock down this wall. What now?
We learn about the business he runs as he offers us a chalet to stay in, and a bike or moto to rent. We say no to many offers and he proceeds to tell us about the fruits he grows.
I ask where his farm is and not really realizing it, I agree to go see his farm to pick fruit. My teammate, Julia, and I jump on bicycles and follow Railey through a tiny neighborhood to a chain-link fence with a gate. He opens the gate, we walk in, and he locks the gate behind us. We are led through the jungle, pass a wooden hut and arrive to his field.
As we start picking, we’re swarmed by hundreds of Mosquitos.
Meanwhile, Railey is continuing to pick the fruit untouched by the haughty, black, disease carrying insects.
We quickly leave and I realize on our way back through the jungle, the wood hut we passed, was actually his home. He had brought us to his house to show us his land and the fruit he grows in his yard.
presence,
a beautiful and rare gift.
fully present-
I’m showing you
what you wanted.
We bike back to the place we first met him and I’m in awe of the little adventure God just took us on. This man not only invited us to sit with him, talk with him, but he wanted to show us his home. We chose to be present, we chose to allow this man, Railey, space to actually share his life, where he lived, what he did and what made him happy.
My presence,
An even more beautiful
freely given- gift
I’m showing you
what you need.
I was on the island so focused on what I thought I was lacking that it actually distracted me from seeing what I really needed- to be in His presence.
I was on an island wanting to be present and by His way I was moved by the gift of His Presence.
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.”
Psalm 23:1
Wanting to be fully present requires inviting Him fully into my present.
He’s awakened me to see that in moments that I believe I will be able to minister to someone, He actually uses that person to minister to me, too.
My soul refreshed.
So now, I find myself in a place of wanting to be undistracted, unguarded, fully engaged, and in His Presence.
It is in this place I am filled with adventure, wonder, satisfaction, and purpose.
It is in this place I see what it looks like to truly live for heaven.
It is in this place I realize the keys of the kingdom of heaven I have been handed.
It is in this place that “on earth as it is in heaven” is fully present.
XOXO
Tay
