When I wake up in the morning I look out my window and see a snow peaked mountain surrounded by not so tiny green hills.
When I finally get the courage to get out of the warmth from under the blanket, my feet hit the cold cement floor and I immediately put my cold gear on. I walk out the door and see this…
Then it’s a ten minute climb, straight up the side of the mountain our house is built on. I get to the top, heart racing and completely out of breath and I stop- life stops for a moment.
This morning was unlike any other.
I got to sit and be amazed by this.
All of this-
His.
This month has been a month of restoration and refreshment ever since stepping off the plane in Kathmandu. I never expected to be able to find it so easily, but without a doubt I feel his grace and mercy in a new light here in Nepal.
I realize this change in place and the change in pace has provided a change in perspective. A more focused view of what this life is really all about. Relationship. Him and I.
At the top of this mountain I find a spot to sit and reflect. I consider my present, my future, and bits and pieces of my past.
In the past six months God’s taken my past and shown me His faithfulness in every important moment. He asked, and I came close. He’s broken my heart in places it needed to be broken and mended my heart in places it needed to be mended. He’s met me in my fears, in my shame, and in my questions.
My present is by far what I’m most excited about. Today. Without the worries of yesterday, and with out the fear of what tomorrow will bring. Just today-
Him and I. That’s all I need.
“Abide in me and I in you, and you will bear much fruit. Apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
Apart from Him I can do nothing.
With Him, that is enough-
Because He is enough.
Looking across the vast landscape of mountain ranges, valleys, and villages, I find myself asking the question-
Do I believe he is enough or do I live as though I have to be enough?
If you would have asked me this question six months ago I would have struggled to even find an answer. I would have wrestled with knowing what the answer should be but realizing that answer wouldn’t be completely true. In time, the Lord has shown me where my thoughts and actions didn’t align with such truth. That He is in fact enough. He’s more than enough. And I should be living my life in a way that speaks ‘He is my enough’, not striving to be enough.
I still battle with this some days more than others, but I know more of His grace today than I ever have. I understand His deepest desire isn’t to see me do, but rather He wants me to sit. Sit with him, and show Him that He is my enough.
All I need, in any day, is to remind myself of what is His. I am His. This life is His. And that is enough. When I invest in Him, I am able to see all that He has entrusted me with.
I take a deep breath of fresh mountain air, and sigh. A settled sigh! Today He has given me new life. I choose to invest in Him and my soul is restored, my mind is renewed, and my desire is no longer to strive to be or do anything, but rather to rest in the truth that abiding in Him is more than enough for today!
XOXO
Tay
