It’s getting really real.
For the first 2 months i’ve had it pretty great. No family, friends, air conditioning or Nutri-bullet, and still found that a lot around me had me comfortable. For instance cafes and good coffee, hearty breakfasts, actual bathrooms, even a balcony for sun and fresh air.
We turned a corner this month, really quick.
One room with 7 mattresses on the floor. A couple fans to circulate the 100 degrees of heat coming through an opened window. Constant mosquitos. An exponentially growing population of flies. A small living/dining room/outside under a makeshift tin roof. Locked in because it’s not safe to walk around. Sweating through outfits but choosing to rock the same one all day because there’s a method to wearing clean clothes (still trying to figure that out).
[our home for this month]
A new perspective.
For as uncomfortable as it may sound, because don’t get me wrong it absolutely adds a discomfort… I’m actually really excited to have the opportunity to experience this.
This was the kind of uncomfortable I’ve been praying for.
Roughing it, to realize just how good of a life I have.
Embracing it, to realize the life so many actually live.
Living it, to realize I have (more than) enough. In fact, I need less.
As I lay on a dirty bed, white sheet turned somewhat beige, ants in hot pursuit across the mattress, the occasional mosquito trying to make land fall, sticky from the combination of sweat and bug spray… my heart is so content to say…
this could be way worse.
And I smile.
It’s all about attitude. Everyday I have a choice to say I’m not going to let my circumstances effect my outlook of the day. When situations arise I’m going to choose to influence or impact that situation with my attitude, rather than be influenced by them.
So far I’ve noticed discomfort breeds awareness. Awareness of the choice I have, and awareness of the possible results. I consider the uncomfortable and I find something in the uncomfortable to be thankful for. In doing so, I create space to to see exactly what the Lord wants me to see! His Grace where I least expect it. His Joy where I least expect it.
Seven people sleeping and living in one room together… a little uncomfortable.
But His Grace is in the never having to sleep alone, someone’s alarm clock always goes off before mine, and theres a nice wall to lay with me feet up so the swelling goes down.
Multiple kid’s heads infested with lice and eyes infected with conjunctivitis… a little uncomfortable.
But His Grace is in their smile that hasn’t changed, their desire to hug and be hugged, the head buffs, tea tree oil, and antibiotics that help prevent the spread, and the ability to love them well regardless.
Fried bread, fried plantains, fried corn, more bread, grease and butter… a little uncomfortable.
But His Grace is in the full plate of food prepared for me, our hosts hospitality and generosity, the fact that others only have one meal a day, some don’t even know where they’ll have their next plate of food.
The pastor stops us at the beginning of a song we’re leading during service to say we’re way off… a little uncomfortable.
But His Grace in the audience’s and our sweet laughter, the Pastor’s willingness to lead us and start over, and the little girls request to sing it again the following day.
For all of the uncomfortable, His grace intercedes. When His Grace intercedes, I find something to be more than thankful for.
I’m thankful for the uncomfortable…
And so I pray for more uncomfortable.
XOXO
Tay
