Isn’t it funny that when we pray for things, we are surprised when they actually happen?
As part of ministry this month, we have been reading ‘The Final Quest’ about spiritual warfare
It’s interesting because the main source of all these demons riding the backs of Christians, is PRIDE
When I thought of pride I thought, yeah I know some people who are prideful
However, the book uncovers the fact that we ALL deal and struggle with pride to a certain extent.
And if you don’t think you struggle with pride, you’re probably being prideful in thinking you have no pride
Anyways, discovering this fact, I began to pray, God reveal in me where I am prideful and break me of this pride because I don’t want to fight for Satan, I want to fight in Your army.
….5 hours later I started feeling super sick
The teams were getting ready to head out to hospital ministry
I was sweating profusely, struggling to put on my shoes but refusing to stay back from ministry
As I argued with teammates about staying or going I remembered the feedback I had recently received from LOVING FRIENDS
Encouraging me to slow down
To not be so go-go-go
And to serve myself by taking care of myself
Then I also remembered my previous prayer of wanting to be freed from any pride I may have in my life
And here it was.
I desperately wanted to go to ministry
But why did I want to go so bad?
Because I was excited to go and lay hands on people and heal them in Jesus name?
OR
Because I thought they needed me? Because I wouldn’t be a good missionary if I stayed home from ministry when that’s the WHOLE reason I’m on this mission trip?
As I evaluated my heart, I realized this is where God was trying to break me of pride
I was holding pride in being able to function and push through being sick no matter what. Sacrificing my health and rejecting God’s invitation to slow down and serve myself.
I was holding pride in thinking I am actually needed in ministry, when actually I’m not needed AT ALL! It is a gift from God that He invites me into the ministry He’s already doing.
So here I am…. still profusely sweating…
Confessing that I have been prideful but I am laying it at the feet of Jesus and putting on His cloak of grace and humility
