Waiting. This has been a word I have never really liked. A word that honestly made me cringe at the sound, especially when it came to waiting on answers from the Lord. A word that is part of the reason that about a year ago I got a key that has the word “Be” written on it. Believe it or not, the Lord has me in yet another season of learning to wait and just BE.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have been in a season of waiting with the Lord. A season where even though I know the Lord is there and I know the Lord is in constant pursuit of me it doesn’t really feel like it. At first it felt so wrong. How can I be in a leadership position and pour out to others when I don’t feel His presence myself at this time? It was hard, it was uncomfy, it wasn’t what I thought this season would look like, yet I am so thankful for it. The Lord is working through and teaching me so much during this period of time.
My relationship with the Lord is about so much more than just a feeling. Feelings are fleeting, but the Lord is constant and the Lord is good. Through this time, He has taught me what it looks like to seek Him out through the “valleys” in our relationship. I wasn’t excited about this, but for the first time in a while the Lord has me excited about waiting. Excited about digging deeper into His word and spending time pursuing Him. Excited about using my experience and what I am currently going through to bring others out of the valley with me. Excited to just BE in a different way than ever before.
At first, I was frustrated until I realized that waiting is actually okay. As I bring this to the light, the Lord is already working. When writing this blog, I decided to open a letter my sweet squad leader Dre gave to me for month two (CRAZY MONTH TWO IS ALREADY UPON US) and among many encouraging words there is a part that says, “Experiencing beautiful things almost always comes with clumsiness, growing pains, pain, and a time of waiting. Don’t be discouraged if you’re not seeing what you want within yourself yet.” Then, during feedback the next night, one of the sweet girls on Salt and Light, Kenzi, got a vision for me and long story short it was all to say that I am in a period of waiting and that is okay. All this without them knowing this is something I have been struggling with recently. GOD IS SO COOL AND SPEAKS IN SUCH INCREDIBLE WAYS!!
So even though this season hasn’t been easy, it has been so incredibly rewarding. The Lord is good. The Lord is faithful. The Lord is more than a feeling that is fleeting. The Lord is moving. I’m just here to wait, soak up as much of who He is, and pour out what He has given me to others as He works “behind the scenes” throughout this period.
