It has taken me a lot longer to write this blog than it probably should have and I apologize if I ramble some, I’m not sure how to say everything that needs to be said. To be honest I think I needed to take the time to personally deal with things and really process all the changes that have happened in the last couple of months. Even after taking time to myself this is kind of hard to talk about and I’m still in a process of grieving so just bear with me as I try to write this.
A lot of people have been asking me why I chose not to launch in January as I originally planned and when or if I will be leaving anytime soon. I avoided these question, not because I didn’t want to answer them but because I didn’t know how to and in some ways I didn’t even know the answers myself. Deciding not to launch with my squad earlier this month was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make and I know it wasn’t a very popular decision but a lot of prayer and thought went into it. I can’t go into too much detail as to why I stayed home because some of it involves other people’s personal information but some things happened with my family back in November and I really felt I was needed here with them. I’m going to be taking a year to live at home, help my family out, and focus on growing spiritually so that when the time comes I will be ready to answer the call to leave.
I still don’t know exactly when I will be leaving for the WR, what countries I’ll be going to, or who I’ll be with. But I’m trying to transition out of a period of grief and into a state of peace and trust. Nothing this year is going the way that I expected it but sometimes that is simply how God works and the only thing left for me to do is rest in Him and trust that he will work everything out. God has a history of taking discouraging situations and turning them into something even greater than anything I could have expected. So maybe when everything seems to be going wrong, it means things could actually be going just the way they’re supposed to.
I’m going to try to give more updates as I look at potential routes for this next year but that decision isn’t going to be made without a lot of prayer and guidance. I just ask that all of you support with me stick with me through this and continue to pray for me. I know God is going to do great things, we just have to be patient enough to let Him work.
