Wow ya’ll Training camp was amazing, 10 days of training in the beautiful wilderness of Gainesville, GA! It’s going to be hard to put words to the things I experienced, the love I felt and the growth encountered. You know when you experience things in life and it all happens so fast or you’re too busy to step back and feel those emotions? That’s how I feel right now… I don’t even know what to say because so much has happened to me this past year and in the past 15 days.
First of all… God is sooo good. No matter what season you are in, he is amazing in all of his ways.
This week I learned what it means to fully give my life to serving God. Ohh baby it is not easy, lemme tell you. It means I can’t be in control, it means I have to forgive myself for my sins, it means working through past hurt in my life that I never wanted to work through, it means I need to stop trying to fix things that God has control of. If you can’t tell I like to plan, I like my schedule and I like to be in control. This week God showed me that I am NOT in control and can never be. And guess what? I feel peace about that!
These past 10 days of training were pretty sweet..
1.I felt the Holy Spirit everyday through worship, prayer and conversations
2. I met some amazing people who I get to call my squad and sisters and brothers in Christ. These people are awesome, you should all read their blogs because they are on fire for the Lord and filled with joy:)
3. I ate tuna and a cricket for the first time… yupp I ate a bug!
4. I ran with a 45 lb pack on and finished my hike in 35 min, yall I broke my back a few years ago but with the Lord I can do anything
5. I slept in a hammock for 5 nights
6. I took bucket showers… surprisingly very satisfying and refreshing haha!
I did so much more and learned a lot, but I wanted to share one particular story.
The first couple of days during worship I kept asking the Lord why I couldn’t fully serve him and give up worldly wants and desires. Why I still felt like I had barriers up in my heart and why I was guarding it. Then one day I was worshiping and God told me to “Be still” throughout the week he kept telling me to “Be still” and listen to him. So there was one day that we had a women’s retreat and there was a session on past shame, the speaker talked about how shame is from the enemy and that shame says “I am a bad thing” and then he talked about guilt and how this is from the Lord, this is conviction “I feel or did a bad thing” but this does not define me. After this session we had time to sit with the Lord… so I sat there and listened.
GUYS, God talked to me… I asked him why I couldn’t fully open my heart to him and others, and why I still had barriers up in my heart? I sat in stillness and listened.
He said “Because I have forgiven you for your sins, but you haven’t forgiven yourself. You’re my daughter.”
Then God placed Colossians 3:8 on my heart “But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips.” The most important part is the verses before it, “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.” Colossians 3:5-7
He taught me what it’s like to give up control of my life, to sit back and let God have control because his plan is so much greater. He taught me to forgive myself as he has forgiven all of our sins on the cross. He showed me that he gives us unending joy and love. I am not perfect but God is perfect. Know that God will never stop pursuing your heart. I obeyed him and I was still, even if for a moment. But that moment is a life-changing one, so “Be Still” and Listen to him
Much love to y’all! Stay tuned for videos and my last 2 fundraiser updates!
