The Lord put it in my heart to study The book of Job all month. I am just now learning and understanding why.
I, am in the waiting……
Every time I talk to God all he says is “wait”.
“Trust me and wait”
Over and over again I hear “wait.”
At the beginning of this month I was getting frustrated.
In El Salvador I heard God so clearly, and so often. But this month all I hear is “Read Job” and “wait.”
The past few weeks I have been struggling.
I haven’t wanted to lead.
I haven’t wanted to grow.
I haven’t wanted to disciple.
I’ve been so hard on myself about everything.
And I’ve felt like no one takes me seriously.
I just wanted to be left alone, settle for less and sit in my comfort.
BUT GOD,
He has bigger plans.
What kind of father would he be if he just let me be the kid who lives at home until he’s 40.
Yes it’s good to come home often but he wants me to live, and experience life in all of its greatness.
I just spent the past 2 days hiking up a volcano. I thought it’d be good to just get away for a few days, just me and God.
My plan was to have a peaceful hike full of prayer, worship and a big revelation once I reached the top.
That wasn’t the case, at all.
Do you remember Matthew 4?
Let me refresh your memory.
Matthew 4:1
Then Jesus was led into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil.
Yeah… definitely wasn’t expecting that to be my experience, but it was.
I took thousands of steps, and for each step I took, a new lie from the enemy popped into my head. The entire hike I was fighting and praying, desperately seeking God’s presence.
I felt like Jesus in Matthew 4.
I felt like Job.
Yesterday at 3am I sat on the cold wet mountain soil. I sat and cried out to God as I watched lava violently burst from the neighboring volcano. I was greeted with more annoying attacks from the enemy. A couple hours later I finally reached the peak around sunrise. It was beautiful. I sat alone and talked to God.
“Lord I heard the thundering volcano all night. I watched the bright orange lava explode against the dark sky as if it were inches away. And now I sit here, on top of a mountain, crying out for you as I sit and admire your beautiful artwork. You gave this volcano in front of me a deep burning fire. A fire inside that obviously can’t be contained. Nothing can keep that lava inside. Nothing can quiet the loud fierce thunder of its overflow. What about me God? Why have I been shut up and tamed by countless attacks as I climb this mountain to be with you.”
This was His response.
” My son. I love you. I will never leave you. Do you feel like Job? I blessed Him abundantly, tremendously! He was faithful in the waiting.
Do you feel like Jesus being tempted on the mountain?
My son, you know, the king of kings and lord of lords who sits beside me now, he was faithful in the waiting.
2 months ago you were content seeing an inactive volcano outside your window.
A month ago you sat looking outside a window. You were perfectly content that I allowed you see a volcano blow smoke through a window.
Last night you saw that volcano face to face. You watched it explode in the night sky.
And now you sit above the clouds and watch the sunrise as that same volcano explodes to bring in a new day.
You’ve witnessed all of this, yet you ask me where I am? I am all around you my son. This volcano overflows with passion and fire because it does what I tell it to do.
It is the same for you. Now go and tell the world what I do for you.”
The hike down was no different than the way up. Attacks, lies and battles surrounded me. Only this time I had a heavier load to bear. The guide asked me to carry our 3 person tent down. And God said, “The load is heavier in every way….”
Physically
Spiritually
Mentally
Emotionally
I accepted it. And fought all the way down that mountain……
I reached the end of myself….
I had nothing left physically
Nothing left emotionally
Nothing left spiritually
Nothing left mentally.
After I showered and laid to rest I thanked God for bringing me to the end of myself in every way. I worshiped and I felt Gods presence.
There was no more Ryan, only God.
Before my head hit the pillow last night, I felt completely healed, rescued, and refreshed.
God is good in every circumstance.
In every situation, God is good. If you don’t see Him, open your eyes.
