I have been trying to write a blog for days about all of the changes and all of the challenges that have come and are coming in the transition between month 5 and month 6, here is where my heart is…
On March 4th, we boarded a flight out of Bangkok for Eastern Europe! My team and I are now resting in a farm village in the middle of Serbia. Serbia is a fulfillment of all of my dreams! We are living in cabins on a summer camp property in late winter weather (I haven’t seen snow in five months). Camp ministry holds such a special place in my heart and having the opportunity to be here is incredible and Europe is off to an incredible start. But….
There was something different about Bangkok, month 5 and serving at Amane that completely wrecked my world. I walked out of month 5 with huge pieces of my heart missing and a gratitude I have never yet felt.
Each world racer has a radically different experience of the race based on their squad, teams and individual growth but for me, each month has resulted in a similar struggle. I get really close, really fast and each month I plant roots so deep that leaving feels like a wound that never heals, a scab that keeps being torn off and a heart break, every three weeks that just never seems to recover.
I have learned a lot of things about myself as each month passes and I experience a similar trauma. Some people thrive as missionaries who simply share the gospel, plant seeds and move on continuing to plant for the kingdom. However, I’ve learned that, for me, ministry looks like relationship. But not just the surface level relationship, the deep, hard and messy relationship.
This month, as I processed my heart break leaving Bangkok, I realized that there will be 6 more heartbreaking goodbyes that might wreck my world all over again. Each month I will continue to experience the trauma of being uprooted yet again to plant roots just one more time and each time I imagine that heartache, I feel gratitude for the ability to be an oak tree in a world of tumbleweeds.
Meet my Thai family!
