I’m not a cryer. Yes, of course I have cried many times in my life, ((ask me about my ACL surgery or the nights before AP Calc BC tests)) but I wouldn’t consider it a typical activity. For example, I’m the girl who accidentally let a giggle slip out when Augustus Waters died in The Fault in Our Stars whilst the rest of the movie theater was sobbing; I’m the girl who would more naturally lash out in anger than cry ((ugh sorry for being mean, mom and dad)); I’m the girl who finds coffee shops therapeutic when I’m sad since we all know you aren’t supposed to cry in public, right? ((wrong)). In my Top Ten Greatest Fears, rests this situation: someone, namely someone I love, is crying and I hover, unable to will even a single tear to totter down my cheeks— I feel impolite and strangely intrusive.
But let me tell you, tears have been shed these past few days. I suppose my tear ducts decided that leaving the country for nine months was a worthy cause for unlocking but whatever the case, the waterworks have definitely begun.
But I’m so thankful for these tears. Because it means I will have people and places to miss. I am beyond blessed: by parents who love me and each other, by two dear brothers, by a community in Raleigh that cares for me and encourages me, by sweet grandparents, by best friends that are now scattered across the South in great colleges, by a home. And I could go on.
Today, a friend charged me with the truth that serving the Lord is better than anything at home. And she’s right. The tears will surely not stop and a piece of my heart will always be in Raleigh BUT I will launch ((on THURSDAY!!! what?!?!)) with the promise that freedom lies in obedience to the Lord.
See you in nine months Raleigh + my people.
All my love, P.
