It was our last night in Botswana when Alina asked me a question that forced me to search for the answer and the answer, once I found it, struck me at it’s honesty, simplicity, and sheer weight. The question was “What do you think your future wife will be like?” I could have given a list of attributes that I’ve always found attractive or desirable, be it physical or a personality trait. But as I opened my mouth to give such an answer I was stopped cold. Looking at Alina, a wonderful woman of God that I’ve had the privilege of living with for the past 4 months, the answer to that question has changed wildly over the past 4 months. Why? What changed? Why do I struggle to answer a simple question that in my past I’ve spent hours upon hours talking about with the guys? The answer lies in the lives of four incredible women; Alina, Josie, Kate, and Kara. These ladies are my teammates. When I finally answered Alina’s question, it surprised even me. I listed traits of each of these ladies’ character and told her, “I hope my future wife is like the four of you.”
Looking at my past I see that I have not treated women properly. I’m not going to compare myself to other guys that I know or stories that girls have told me about how guys have treated them. I won’t even go into details about my own actions. The short and sweet answer is, I did not treat the girls in my life, whether they were just my friends or they were more, as daughters of God, princesses of the King of kings.
The truth is, I firmly believe that my future wife will someday thank every one of these four women for the way that they have changed how I see and interact with women of God. Four months of close living has taught me quite a bit. Each of my teammates has taught me something different.
Alina- When I answered what quality in her I hope to find in my future wife it was the way that she pours out the Lord’s joy over everyone that she is in community with. She is overflowing with joy even when she struggles to feel it herself. You want to meet a woman that is truly HUNGRY for the love of God and the knowledge of God’s movement in her life, meet Alina Stumbris. She shares her story and points to God every step of the way to show His sovereignty and His love for her. She has taught me that putting forth effort to serve someone simply to grow in relationship with them is one of the easiest ways to show love and I know my future wife will appreciate that lesson.
Kate- A quality that I see in Kate that will ABSOLUTELY be something I hope to find in my future wife is the way she talks about scripture and about the Lord. In Psalms 1 there is a verse that talks about those whose delight is in the Law of the Lord, it goes on to describe how that person’s life will be fruitful and blessed. That is Kate. Living with her has taught me so much about finding identity in the Father’s love and desire for me because that is something she lives out by example daily. Kate has so many amazing qualities, but her love of God is the most beautiful of all of them and it shines the brightest as well.
Kara- When thinking about Kara there is a realness that I see in her that I hope and pray I find in my wife one day. Talking with Kara you know that you are talking to authenticity. She won’t pretend to be who she thinks you want her to be because she is so confident in who she is. How refreshing in today’s world. Over the past four months I have seen that quality develop even further into a complete dependence in the identity that God has given her and it is such a beautiful thing. Kara has taught me that beauty is not beauty if it is not authentic. Living with her has taught me that real relationship is built off of being genuine with those around you and I will never take that for granted. She is honest about her struggles, not for the sake of being pittied, but she is open about them in the way that Paul was in 2 Corinthians, revealing them so that God’s grace may be seen as sufficient and abounding.
Josie- Josie has this amazing gift that allows her to see and bring beauty to every single thing that she come in contact with. She always has a pen and her journal in hand just drawing everything under the sun. Josie also has the amazing gift of gentleness. Never have I heard someone speak with such a gentle spirit so consistently. It is amazing to know that any time I come to her with an issue or a hurt in my life, not only will she give me her full attention, but she will listen and respond with the gentle nature of Christ. Wow, what a gift. Josie has such a desire to grow in the Lord and will stop at nothing to learn more about her heavenly Father. I have had the absolute pleasure at watching Josie grow in faith in the past four months and I am amazed at what I have seen. Josie breathes life in everything that she says and that is such a beautiful character trait and it is something that I will never stop loving about Josie.
These are the Kairos women. These are the godly women that I have spent the past four months growing with, sharing our joy, pain, fear, laughter, and tears with. Each of them is a beloved daughter of the King and they all walk in that identity. They have changed the way I live and love. They have completely reformed what I look for in a relationship. These ladies will change the world, they have already changed mine. Everybody, show some well deserved love to the lovely Kairos women!
