“We have a tendency in Christendom to represent Christianity very obnoxious or very cowardly… The gospel is infused into my life and it’s not just a banner I’m waving now, it’s in my being.” -Andy Mineo
How much is your testimony worth? How much value do you place on your story, the story that God has written through everyday of your life? Testimony is often something that rarely crosses our minds. That changed a few nights ago.
For the first time in almost three years I was asked to share my entire testimony with my team. That morning I went to God to ask Him for guidance in sharing my story. It was then that I realized just how much has happened in the past few years that has drastically affected the way I see God and my faith walk. I sat in my hammock watching the sun rise over this island and asked God, “how much do I share? How much can I leave out? Some of this stuff I really do not want to share with anyone. You know how this wounded me and you alone know how much of this I carry with me.” See, when I look at my own story it is all too easy to notice only my scars, only the brokenness, only the pain that I have felt and I have caused. Then He reminded me that my team is going to be my family for the next 9 months and hopefully the rest of my life. He reminded me that I WANT my team to know me better than anyone else. “Hold nothing back” was His reply.
So that is what I did. I sat around a table with my team on our own and I shared the good, the bad, and the ugly from my life, including the past 3 years. The pain I felt while sharing was incredible. The shame that I was reminded of was crushing. My story hung in the air thick in front of me with seven pairs of eyes examining it. Then something amazing happened. Grace happened. My team surrounded me and prayed over me while I wept.
After our time as a team was over for the night I retreated to my bunk and started to journal. I started to pour out how hard it was and how much it hurt. At that moment, the lyrics of the music I had playing in my headphones broke through and caught my attention. “These scars will sing, hallelujah. These broken bones will ring, hallelujah.” Then, to really drive His point home, God directed me (I still can’t explain how I ended up going to this particular place in scripture except by saying He directed me) to 1 Timothy 1:15-17. Here, Paul is telling Timothy that his testimony is powerful because it is so full of pain. So full of blood and tears. His story required an incredible amount of mercy from the Lord to take Paul from where he was to being an apostle. He says that this brings MORE glory to God. Wow. God spoke to me through His word…never saw that one coming.
The quote at the beginning is from a favorite rap artist of mine that has recently come under fire because people say that the gospel is no longer at the forefront of his music. Listening to his earlier music has the feel of listening to a sermon put to music while his new music sounds more like pages from his journal. He tells his story, just like I did. In the quoted interview he explained that the gospel is part of who he is and if you can’t hear it in his music then you aren’t listening close enough. Reflecting on this, God starts pointing at my own story. He starts pointing out the fact that I have been sent to the nations to proclaim His name. The gospel is part of my life. The gospel is woven into my story. With this in mind, I speak my testimony boldly with the knowledge of head and heart that it brings more glory to God.
My story is worth the blood it was written in. So is yours.
