I’ve been home from training camp for a little over a month and my flight back to Georgia for Launch is in just a few weeks. This in between time is something they told us would be hard. They, our trainers and leaders, told us we would be tested and pushed and they were right. There has been so much going on in my head and heart during this pre-launch phase. So much that I am trying to figure out.
I’m done trying to figure it all out though. Instead I made a difficult decision. I’ve decided that I am not getting on that plane. I just feel like it’s not what God wants of me. God wants His son and His loyal servant on a mission like the World Race. This trip is for people that are so full of God that they can’t help but pour His love out on everybody they encounter. I’m not getting on that plane to Georgia because I don’t think that is me.
I came to realize that in the recent years so much about me has been shaped more by my worldly experiences than by God working in me. I reflect more of the world than I do of Jesus. Get to know me and you will probably hear so much more about my hurts and failures or about all the things I’ve seen at work than you will hear about what the Lord is doing in my life. You will see the scars the world has left on me, the bagage that I carry instead of seeing the attributes of Jesus in me. So I’m not getting on that plane. At least, not all of me.
Things at training camp felt different in the most amazing way. I’ve been trying to figure out why they were so different. Recently it hit me: God emptied me at camp. I went in carrying so much on my shoulders. Work, family, friends, life, past, present, and future. All of these things weighed on my shoulders the first few days of camp until God broke me to the point of letting it all fall away. When I went back to my life, I picked it all up again.
I’m not taking it with me this time. All those things that define me on the outside are not going with me. I’ll pack my bag in a couple weeks and go to the airport and I will leave this country to follow the Lord, but so much of who I have become over the past few years will not be coming. I will go into this trip leaving my baggage, my failures, my scars all at the foot of the Father. I will go ready to learn who God is asking me to be. I will not be the man that is defined by the way the world has marked me. I will be the disciple that I was born to be.
If you want to know more about this change that I am counting on God to facilitate within me then follow this blog using one of the buttons on the page you are currently staring at. I don’t know much about what this change is going to look like quite yet, but I’m so excited to experience it and tell you all about it, so be sure to subscribe to this blog so you can see it too!!
Also, I am definitely still fundraising for my trip! If you look at the top of this page you will see a little button that says “ DONATE,” so if you feel so inclined to show financial love to me hit that button and give whatever you can because every dollar counts!!
