We did it. We killed her. We got greedy, needy, impatient, and selfish.
We killed love.
Alright, I get it. That’s a little aggressive yeah? Probably. But it’s true. We killed love. We don’t know what it is anymore. Paul wrote on it, Jesus walked it out, the Father showed it to us. And we found a way to throw it away.
We took everything about love, and twisted it, dropped it on its head for our own temporary pleasure. Long term commitment for the most and joy and reward? That’s old school. That’s too hard. All that matters is the now, right? We want all the benefits of marriage with none of the commitment. We want the acceptance and the pleasure and the self-gratification without the hard work and the sacrifice. We pimped out love. We sold sex. We took something meant for union, for one-ness, for a glimpse of what waits in heaven? And we thought about how much fun it was. So we neatly packaged it. We sold it. We put it online, we put it on billboards, we sent it over the phone. We made it trend. We publicly pimped it to the point where it became normal. We tweet about it.
We lie about love. We don’t say it for others, we say it for ourselves. We say, “I love you”, when the reality is? That’s selfish. Because we don’t say it for the other person nowadays. We say it so they feel a certain way, so they do something or say something to us in return. We say it for ourselves. We mask our hurts and insecurity in others, as if that was ever going to work. Two people with baggage trying to make it work is just more baggage. We use others, we hope to find something in them, and in what they can give us.
Man is broken. Badly. We lost ourselves somewhere along the way. We fell out of step with our Creator. We instead worshiped the creation. We forget what we are hardwired to do. To love as Jesus loves his bride, to serve, to protect, and to provide. We forgot how to lead. And I don’t mean get on our high horse with our big boy pants, puff out our chests and stomp our feet. No, I mean we forgot the example the Son of God set. We forgot putting ourselves low. We forgot serving, and loving not for ourselves, but for the other. The truth is? We as men these days don’t have a whole lot to offer. Many of us walk around, seeking to take. Because we are empty, and we don’t know who we are. Men showered women with empty words that resembled the Lord’s heart, all to serve himself. Women said fine, if you won’t be strong then I’ll do it. And in the process she would tear all men down.
On this trip, I have the amazing opportunity to serve alongside amazing young men and women who are seeking the Father’s heart. And this is not written out of pity, but almost out of anger. The sheer amount of heartbreak in a lot of these amazing girl’s lives is breathtaking. The disproportional amount of pain and abusive relationships is repulsive. To see what my generation and the one before it did to love, and to each other is abusive. It’s heartbreaking.
And this is not where this ends. I have seen strength and dignity in the women in my life. Especially from the young women on my team. These women are fierce and worthy of praise. They are laying it all down before the Lord and it is inspiring. It’s convicting. And it’s stirred something in me. It’s helped bring something out of me. Especially the ladies on my team. Daven, Hailey, Grace, and Taylor. You have shown me what it means to walk in fear of the Lord, and how to love His people well. You have shown me compassion and strength in the hard times, and joy and laughter in the others.
So this is for all those that won’t leave love dead. This is for the Jessica Hartwell’s of the world. This is for the Myrna Gold’, the Sue and Allison Gold’s, the Evie Shaffner’s of the world. This is for Rylie Gutierrez. This is to the amazing women in my life that will forever leave me in awe. This is for the people that want to see it for what it was created beautifully and perfectly to be. This is for the you. This is for the women that have seen the heartbreak face to face.
This is for the young men that decide that they will be different. That they will say, “I love you”, and they mean it not for themselves. They will pursue her the way Jesus pursues us. This is for the young men that would set out to be different. To relentlessly pursue the Lord and His heart before they think about pursuing another. This is for the Brian Crosson’s, the Hunter White’s, the Austin Bernardy’s and the Micah Stevenson’s. The men that would be different. We are told again and again to love one another. Honor one another. Paul says to let no debt remain between you but love. Take it back. Bring it back to life. Treat her like a daughter of the King. Treat him with the respect that he doesn’t deserve sometimes. Care for one another enough that you love them for more than self-gratification.
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not boast. Love is slow to anger and slow to speak. Love is forgiving. Love went to a cross. Love said, “you are enough” and “that one is mine”. Love said you don’t deserve it but I’ll fight for you at this table. Love waits patiently for the season.
And that’s what I’ve been thinking on here in Botswana. Just a glimpse.
