To begin this blog, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you to all of you have prayed for me, donated, and encouraged me throughout the process of preparing for and fundraising for the World Race. These last three months since I have committed to do the World Race, I have felt mostly humbled and scared but also excited, encouraged and most importantly at peace about it. Through all the excitement and worry, that underlying peace has never left. The Lord has shown me His faithfulness through you all and has completely blown me away by the generosity of others. While I do still have a ways to go, I am excitingly anticipating to see God’s provision for this trip!!!
The other purpose of this blog is to let you know how fundraising is really go from my perspective:
Many times when talking to people, I try to come off as “I know God has called me to do this and I COMPLETELY trust Him to provide financially, spiritually, mentally, physically, relationally, and any other way that I need Him too!” And while the first part is true, the second part about completely trusting Him…not so much. I mean don’t get me wrong, there are times where I find myself completely trusting God with all of that but there are other times I am not. I have prayed and asked God to put me in a position where the ONLY way what is about to happen is possible is if it really is Him calling me to do it and man has He answered. This World Race is way beyond anything I could have imagined being called to do!! While I was faithful in saying yes, the real struggle has been staying faithful now, after the yes. Honestly, saying yes was the easiest part. Let me explain:
Right about now, I feel a lot like what I imagine Peter felt like when Jesus called Him to step out of the boat and to walk with Him on the water in Matthew 14:28-31. It’s exciting to feel such a clear calling from the Lord, like “yes! This is what God is calling me to do!” Much like when Jesus told Peter to “Come” (v.29a) and Peter “got down out of the boat” (v.29b). He did not think twice about it. It was not until he already out on the water, until it was too late to turn back, that he began to doubt. See at first you are very much on a high, it’s easy to trust God because nothing has really happened yet, you haven’t taken the time to look around yourself from a “human and worldly perspective”. Once Peter took into account what was actually going on and started looking at things from a human perspective, he began to doubt and to sink and the waves began to look bigger and bigger and what he was attempting to do, seemed impossible. Now I’m not literally walking on water but this story is a great illustration of what it seems like to have such a lofty goal, one where you have no control until you let go and trust God. There are days when I feel like I am walking on water (those days are awesome, btw) and then there are days when I feel like I am drowning. On the days that I take my eyes off the Lord and think “what the heck am I doing, there is literally no way I can raise $18,000 to do a mission trip and be away from home for 11 months”, the waves are large and the sea is raging and I am drowning, discouraged, and really thinking this whole thing is impossible.
In a sense, my thoughts on the days I take my eyes off the Lord and look around at my situation from a human perspective are true. I absolutely cannot do this, but God can. The neat part of the story is that when Peter doubts the Lord, the Lord does not get angry and let Peter drown for not trusting Him, rather He grabs Peter and pulls him out of the crashing waves and simply asks: “why do you doubt?” (v. 31). And oftentimes a song or a verse or a donation or a prayer or an encouraging word makes me ask myself that exact same question. The true reality of the situation is that I have no reason to doubt.
So to conclude I say thank you. Thank you for letting God use you to show me that I have no reason to doubt His faithfulness and love for me. So far I have raised $3,820 so far and with each donation my trust in God (which should have never left) is renewed.
