Life on the Race isn’t always rainbows and butterflies.
There are times on the Race where you just don’t want to “press in” anymore. You’re sick, you’re tired of being around people 24/7, you’re annoyed with your teammates, you’re missing the comforts of home, you’re tired of eating foreign food every day, and you just want a break.
This is what we call the B-Zone. The newness of the Race has worn off and you’re just tired and in a slump.
There have definitely been a few days on the race where I’m hard core B-zoning, but it usually only lasts for a few hours and I have some revelation and I’m fine!
But, this month in Rwanda, I have had more days than not where I feel like I’m living in the B-zone. This is the first month where I have legitimately struggled. I can’t even put my finger on it, but it probably started with being physically sick and then has kind of gone downhill from there. Let me tell you, having diarrhea for 2 days straight and only having a squatty with swarming flies all around it is not fun!!
Needless to say, I’ve been triggered a lot this week and felt very far from The Lord as much as I’ve tried to press into Him.
And it’s nothing against our ministry or anything, because our ministry host is AWESOME and does everything he can to provide for us! It’s just one of those months for me.
BUT The Lord wrecked me yesterday as I was complaining to Him about all of my struggles. I was just venting about everything that went wrong this week and He just whispered to me:
Mikayla, let me take these burdens from you. I want them! Turn your eyes to Me and let my peace wash all of your anxieties away.
IMMEDIATELY, something shifted in my spirit. Something about being raw and real with The Lord washes our struggles away completely!!
In this you rejoice, though now, for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. [1 Peter 1:6-7]
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. [James 1:2-4]
The Bible frequently talks about wilderness seasons, but notice that people are never sitting in the wilderness. It may be a struggle, but they choose to get up and walk through the wilderness. It’s a CHOICE to walk. I can either sit in my self-pity and sorrows or get up and choose joy despite my circumstances!
Because once I take my eyes off of myself, I can see the Lord’s hand so much clearer!!!
I can see how He provides more than enough food every day for us.
I can see how He has given us an AMAZING new teammate (@Alex Banks) who makes me laugh and smile every day.
I can see how He’s been using this month to show our whole team what it looks like to choose joy in every situation!
I’ve seen Him wrapping his arms around me through the multitude of students that run up to me and hug me on the daily.
I’ve seen him in the LIT worship sessions that the African people have every single day! Literally singing and dancing and down on their knees before their Father.
I’ve seen him in my moments of rest and just sitting in His presence.
Because He’s always there! It’s so easy to become consumed with my struggles and pain and hurt, but DAAANG once we truly just look to Jesus, we realize how He truly is using everything for good. He’s shaping me so much this month, and I’m thankful for these hardships because it’s really giving me a new perspective on genuine faith in Jesus instead of worldly things.
So yeah, if any of you readers out there are struggling with feeling down, hopeless, and just far from The Lord, I want you to know that you’re not alone!!! And God hasn’t moved. Bring your struggles and anxieties to him and let him lift your burdens from you and give you a joy that is unshakeable!!
I have set The Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy;
At your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
[Psalm 16:8-11]
