Music is, has been and always will be a huge part of my life. Playing it or listening to it, it’s always been almost constant for as long as I can remember. Before the Lord was at the centre of my life I would find myself putting my identity in what I listened to. When people asked me I would say, “My life is music!” I always wanted more and more of it. I think music is an amazing gift from God, it can be an important/powerful part of worship and that He’s gifted people with musical abilities, for His glory.
Over the past week or so during our time at debrief, we learned a lot about discipleship. What it means to be a disciple. We as christians were called to die to our selves, and follow Him. If we’re truly living for the Lord, all that we do should be for His glory. It’s never going to be easy, but through the struggle comes fruit. The more we die to ourselves and give up our earthly desires, the more room we give for the Lord to work in our lives.
I felt a conviction in Cambodia, during month 2. The Lord convicted me of the music I was listening to. What we put into ourselves is what is going to come out. If we are not doing all things for the glory of God, and filling ourselves with things that are not glorifying to Him, then we are not dying to ourselves. I ignored this conviction for 3 months. I thought “God knows how much I love music, I CAN’T give this up. He doesn’t really want me to give this up.” But I was wrong. I was choosing to live for my earthly desires and not God’s desires for me.
After a week of hearing about dying to myself, the cost of discipleship, how it’s not supposed to be easy, how all I do should be for His glory I thought to myself, “okay God, I get it, I really need to give this up to you.” When I thought about it I realized that there was a time before God was the centre of my life. I no longer believe “music is my life.” GOD is my life, and music is something He’s blessed me with.
Yesterday, He told me that for the next two months I need to give my music up to Him. I deleted all secular music from my phone. I went from 27GB of storage on my phone from music to less than 5GB in 6 minutes. I didn’t want to, but that’s how I knew I needed to. Heading into month 5 God told me I would experience change, I just didn’t realize He was gonna start that change on day 2.
