Blog #2 of the week! This one’s more of a journal entry than anything else, but I hope it still speaks to you and allows you into part of my journey! 

 

I’m restless. My fingers shimmy over the keyboard, forgetting their long remembered places. It’s only 5 am but I’ve slept for 9 hours already. Get me out. I need to do something. Let me sleep. I don’t want to move. It’s too hard. India is too much. New teams are too much. I’ve lost my closest thing to family here. I feel so alone. God is good. This place is safe. The Lord’s peace rests here, I know it. God picked me specifically to come here. He knew what he was doing. The food isn’t spicy. I have a bed. And a blanket. It’s raining. I love the rain. I miss home. Chicago was so good. Melanie, you’re doing so good. Less than 3 months left. You are doing the thing you’ve always dreamed of!

Soak it in. Soak it in. Soak it in.

Drifting

Lost at sea.

Don’t go too far

It’s a trap.

One step too far

And you’ll lose your

Mind.

Have control, take control.

The future is dangerous

The past is haunted

Dreams.

The anchor isn’t strong

Enough.

Steady

Steady

Steady

You’ve gone too far, it’s over

The anchor broke. You’re lost at

Sea.

Waves

Encapsulate

Man

Overboard

He couldn’t stand it any more.

The waves too high

The boat too small

Flooding

Drowning

Panic

Fear

Let me go too. Let me

Go.

I am no captain.

Jump

Jump

Jump

It’s my ship.

Take control.

I Can’t.

Steady- no.

Sinking

Sinking

Sinking