As every person should, I love Disney movies. They are entertaining, teach some great lessons and are good escapes from reality.
Recently as I was sitting in class, my mind clearly not on the economics lecture I was supposed to be paying attention to, I found my mind swimming in a thousand and one thoughts, including some Disney movies. The saying “faith, trust, and pixie dust” came to my mind, so I began to think about it a little more. In the midst of a busy season I needed some faith, and surely some trust, but since I couldn’t find good old Peter Pan to get me to Never-land, what could I get in replace of pixie dust?
The last few weeks haven’t been easy ones. I feel that a new thing is added to my list of to-dos every few minutes and I haven’t been able to check anything off that list. I am stressed with school; it’s the last few months and I’m trying desperately to find some motivation to finish off strong in classes that I don’t want to be in. I’m struggling with changes and different issues going on with both my family and my friends. I am trying to look forward to and plan all of the exciting things that spring is bringing: Easter weekend is here and in full swing, IB testing in school is sneaking up on me fast, my graduation party needs attention, and the graduation ceremony is coming too. I leave for a mission trip to Guatemala sooner than I can believe. And the first deadline for fundraising is coming quickly as I struggle to find time to reach out to my support team and ask more people to join me. The list goes on.
With all of this flying past my face I escaped for a much needed weekend on a senior retreat with my youth group last week. That’s right, all of this stuff to do and I left it all behind for a whole 48 hours. It was here that I discovered something. I found the answer to the phrase- pixie dust was not what I needed. I needed my God, I needed to stop thinking about my to-do list, my effort needed to go into my relationship with my Father. Our retreat focused on Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God.” so we spent time being still. A lot of it. On Saturday morning this meant for 2 hours straight. Personally, this consisted of an hour of crying out to God, telling him how lost I felt, how I felt that I was drowning, and honestly, being angry with him just as I had many times in the weeks prior. Then I realized something. I was crying out to him but not waiting for a response, this was a time to be still and I was doing everything but that. So that’s what I did; I waited. Luckily God did not try my patience for too long- I’m sure he knew I didn’t have much. He prompted me to open my journal to a page where I found verses from Hebrews 10. I began to meditate on Hebrews 10:23 which says,
“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”
The next few chapters present the idea of holding onto what we know to be true about our God and persevering through difficult times. Possible because we know the reward we will receive in heaven makes all troubles worth it.
Without really realizing it I have been searching for pixie dust lately- I’ve been searching for an easy, magical way out of my obligations and the stress I am feeling. What I found was not an easy way out, in any way. God isn’t freeing me of my obligations but he is guiding me through them. The thing I was missing was focus, this is what I was forgetting in the midst of getting MY stuff done and working hard for MYself and finishing more things so I could do what I wanted to do.
I surely needed a boost in my faith and my trust but most of all I needed a reminder that I am not going through life for myself but for God, he must be at the center of all things. He is my focus. As the stress continues I can work through it, centering and focusing myself on a God who is bigger than any circumstances.
Faith, Trust, and Focus
