Hey friends! As at least some of you know by now, my squad has made it to Nepal. It’s crazy to think that we are now in month 5 of our 9 month journey. We’ve been to Swaziland, Lesotho, and India – now we’ll spend the next two months in Nepal!
Our first week here was spent in debrief. Debrief is a time for us to process things, rest, and take a little break from ministry so we can recharge for the next ministry location. Debrief was honestly pretty rough. The first few days/nights were spent stuck in a bunch of emotions (mostly sad) caused by my mind being consumed by lies that I was convinced were truth. I was convinced that because I wasn’t being asked/invited to do things, people didn’t want me to hang out with them. And I KNEW that that was not true. I acknowledged that it was a lie, but I was living like it wasn’t. I’m gonna be real – I cried two nights in a row, by myself, because of the pain that I was feeling – emphasis on the “by myself.” With all of these things in my head, I figured that people didn’t want to have to deal with all my crap.
BUT, newsflash: people actually do care and they don’t mind listening to your junk. Seriously. If you have some solid people around you that love you, talk to them. It helps A TON.
That being said, once I finally talked to people about what was going on in my head, things got better. They really did. The next few days were filled with so much happiness and laughter and joy and Jesus. I could see a change in my attitude towards things too. Before, I was stuck in a victim mindset. I acted all “woe is me,” stuck in my own mind. I had somehow forgotten that I can actually reach out and ask people to hang out with me rather than waiting for them to ask me. WHAT A CONCEPT. Ask others to hang out with you. Be the first to make a move. You aren’t always going to be invited. Sometimes, you just have to invite yourself. So now, I’m trying my best to get out of the victim mindset and into a mindset of confidence, boldness, and initiative. Also, a mindset where I don’t care what others think, because HEY MEG, YOU’RE SUPPOSE TO BE SEEKING TO PLEASE GOD AND NOT PEOPLE. AND IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.
If I’ve learned anything from that whole shindig, it’s that
- I’m not a victim,
- My pain isn’t meant to be dealt with alone, and
- What people think about me should not affect the truth that God says about me.
On another note, this month is “womanistry” month. For the guys, it’s “manistry” month. Theirs sounds more catchy. Ours just sounds dumb. Oh well. So what that means is us girls are all together doing our own ministry and all of the guys are together doing their own ministry for the month. All of us girls are currently in Kathmandu living in a 4 story house, which is so fun because girls are so fun. I think I had forgotten that. Our ministry is great too. Every morning, we go over to our host’s house, spend an hour in prayer or Bible reading, looking to the Lord before we go out and do stuff. Our ministry consists of going to temples/stupas and praying, going to slums to pray and spend time with the people there, playing soccer, feeding children some lunch, going to dance bars to minister to the girls there, and some other things I’m sure. So far, I really enjoy the ministry here. I can’t wait for the sweet things our Lord is going to show us while we are here for the next month, and also the following month in a different ministry in Nepal.
Love you all. Thanks for all of your love and support. Know that I miss you all and I’m praying for you!
Love,
Megan
