“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
(Jeremiah 29:11)
My first written blog of the World Race is finally here, and this is not exactly how I planned for it to go…
When I look back on the past eight and a half months of my World Race journey, I think of all the amazing things that the Lord has shown me and my teammates. I have seen the Lord heal, I have seen him plant churches, I have seen people overcome addiction through Him, and so many other incredible miracles. But the more I think about this, the more I realize that I really haven’t seen it with my own eyes; I have always seen it through a lens. No, I don’t mean a lens of rose colored glasses, but rather, an actual lens…the lens of my camera.
My camera, along with my passion for film making, has really been part of my identity ever since my senior year of high school. I was always the “guy with the camera,” the “movie guy,” or, as the guys on the squad would say, “the photographer.” Although my camera did not define me, it certainly always described me. All throughout college and even after graduation, wherever I went, if a video was needed, I was always the first person who came to mind. Not that this was necessarily a bad thing, but it was just something I had come to accept. So when God brought me through personal tragedy and called me to the World Race, I felt like He was calling me on this journey to share not only my own story of triumph, but also the stories and testimonies of others around the world…I felt He was calling me to share with the world the gift and talent of film making that He had graciously given me. Even though I still believe in my heart that this was true, it was not until very recently that I came to realize the FULL reason for my call during this season.
So…at this point, I’m sure that many of you are asking, “Why on earth is he writing a blog about this?” Or…better still – “Why is he even posting a BLOG at all (isn’t he the guy who just makes videos)?” Well, to answer your question, the reason I am writing my first “real” blog halfway through month nine is because the unthinkable happened: ALL of my camera equipment was stolen –
ALL.
of.
it.
Yeah…I know that is a BIG blow to a film maker. Ok, so maybe it’s a HUGE blow. And I am still kind of in shock. But I guess there are certainly worse things that could have happened, right?
So, what happened was that my team and I were on a bus, coming back from Ica, Peru. We had a day off from ministry and spent it hanging out at an oasis in the middle of a desert, going dune buggy riding and sand boarding. It was actually a pretty awesome experience, until IT happened. I had been feeling incredibly sick, and after a long day of activity, I was flat out exhausted. When we hopped on the bus to return to our ministry site, the only thing I was thinking about was going to sleep. So, I unclicked my fanny pack (that contained ALL my camera stuff) and separated it from the bottom of my big backpack in order to fit them both on the overhead shelf on the bus (where bags typically go). I didn’t think twice about it, and because I was feeling very weak and completely exhausted, none of the zillion warnings that should have been going off in my head made their way through to my consciousness. I immediately fell fast asleep. When I woke up five hours later back in Lima, my fanny pack was nowhere to be found. Completely gone. Stolen. Robado (that’s Spanish for stolen). My first feeling was one of panic. PANIC! Literally, the whole reason I was on the World Race was to capture people’s stories with my camera, to share them with everyone back home…with all of you, and with the world. Or was it? Almost just as quickly as the feeling of panic sought to consume me, it was replaced by a calmness…a sense of peace. Surprisingly, I wasn’t all that worried about my loss anymore.
The truth is, I knew what I was getting into right from the beginning. When I applied for the World Race, I heard many stories from my sister (a World Race alum) about racer’s “nice things” being stolen on buses all the time. I heard the horror stories at training camp. And I could repeat the stories to you at will. But I never thought that would happen to me. I worked hard for and value my equipment, and I have always been extremely careful with it, even protecting it as I would had it been my child. I thought that people who got their stuff stolen were irresponsible, and just didn’t know what they were doing. Clearly, I was wrong. No one ever said this race was going to be easy…no one ever said it wouldn’t come at a cost…traveling as a missionary to 11 countries in 11 months and living among and ministering to the poor and outcasts wasn’t supposed to be easy either. Jesus even said to his disciples:
I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.
(Matthew 10:16)
Jesus knew the enemy would be waiting for his chance to strike. He knew there would be people just waiting for an opportunity to get ahead and make a quick dollar. I simply allowed my physical condition to get the best of me, and neglected to realize my own vulnerability. I mistakenly believed that I wasn’t that person…I was above that…I was too careful. And I made the mistake of carrying around a bag with $4,000 worth of camera equipment into…let’s just say…not the safest of places. The fact is that I slipped up, and the enemy took advantage and struck.
Well…this could be where the enemy is victorious and I become bitter and give up. And you know, it would be pretty easy to go along with that “plan.” But I know the Lord has a better plan! After spending time in prayer, I’ve come to realize the coolest part of all this. Even though I created a foothold for the enemy to take advantage of and steal my equipment, he doesn’t (as in does NOT) win. He never wins.
For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear, I will help you.”
(Isaiah 41:13)
If I had let fear completely take over in that moment, I would have let the enemy win. I would have let him get the best of me, and would have given up control of the situation. But instead of giving in to that feeling, I chose to let the Lord fill me with His overwhelming peace…I chose to believe Him when He said that everything was going to be okay. Even though I had been foolish, even though I had made a terrible mistake, it was going to be okay. The Lord would not desert me.
That’s truly the most comforting thing to me – even though my camera stuff may be gone, the Lord is still with me, and He still has a mission for my life…not only for these last two-and-a-half months of the race, but for the rest of my life! I was finally able to realize what I neglected to see before. I was not called on the World Race just to share the testimonies of others through film, but for a much greater purpose. I was called here to demonstrate God’s love…to help change lives and to share the Gospel. I was called to build relationships with people, one-on-one, and to grow closer in intimacy with the Lord. I was called to learn things about myself I never even knew…to learn how to get through unfortunate circumstances like this and arrive on the other side, a better person. Yes my camera and training may have been part of the reason the Lord called me here, but it wasn’t the only reason. I am still here in Peru to live out my calling in this season. I will continue to seek to build relationships, but this time, away from my camera, rather than from behind it. I will strive to share the amazing things the Lord has done in my own life, and the things He continues to do each day.
I began this blog post with a verse from Jeremiah, where it talks about the Lord knowing the plans He has for us…plans for us to prosper, plans for hope and a future. This is the verse I clung to on that bus. This is why I was able to remain calm – because I knew the Lord has a plan for me. Sure, I don’t know what it will look like when I get home and I don’t have a camera, or any of the equipment I will need to find a job…or what it will look like to share stories on the Race for the next two months (probably more written blogs!), but I can rest easy knowing that it’s in the Lord’s hands. He’s in control, and He’ll make everything work out for my good, and for His glory. That’s a fact.
I’m not sure exactly how to navigate this uncharted territory without my camera, the thing I am most comfortable with, but I am excited for what the next few months hold. Rather than experiencing this journey through the eyes of a camera lens, I am excited for experiencing it with my own eyes, and with the lens of God giving me direction.
The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light.
(Matthew 6:22)
During the next few months, “Where’s that camera guy?” will no longer have me dropping everything to get that perfect footage. I am trying to find comfort stepping out of that role, and stepping into the role of one who is wonderfully made by the Lord, bringing His light to others. I see an immediate future of traveling into towns, villages, and ministries and fully connecting with people and loving them the way Christ would, just being myself. The Lord sent me on this journey for a purpose and that was to follow Him completely, no matter what. I know I will finish this race strong, even without my camera. I know that I am a child of God, and God has a plan for my life.
Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.
(Galatians 4: 6-7)
With that being said, losing my all my camera equipment is still a huge blow, especially when I think of my future, post-race. I will have to find a way to re-buy everything that was stolen in order to find a job and continue my journey of film making and storytelling back in the states. If you feel the Lord speaking to you, I would greatly appreciate any financial contribution you feel led to make to help me continue my journey (you can find my PayPal account information at the close of this post). Truly, no contribution is too small and would help me get back on my feet, and really allow me to see the Lord at work!
Thank you so very much for your prayers and financial support over these past 8 ½ months – I can never fully express how much it has meant to me. I have really enjoyed sharing my journey with you through the eyes of my camera lens, and I hope to continue to share with you whatever the Lord puts on my heart. God Bless you always!
Love you all,
Matt
My Paypal account is: paypal.me/mattcotov
