This last Tuesday, our teams spent the afternoon at the Penang House of Prayer for some time reading, praying, and worshiping the Lord. As the evening closed in, there was a time of open mic prayer and the worship became more spontaneous.
While the evening was focused around Jordan and the Middle East, the words we started to sing were “You are worth it all”
I sang the words a few times before they really hit me.. and man did they hit me.
Before coming on this trip- actually even just two weeks ago- these words would have meant something different.
While declaring that God was worth it all, I would have found my mind revolving around “sacrifices” like
Not doing everything others did.
Leaving my job.
Not having the popular opinion.
Having to walk away from conversations that weren’t glorifying God.
Being insulted for believing the Bible
Now, I’m faced with a totally different reality, a totally different view on sacrifices..
I can no longer talk to you. I am going to delete my Facebook and I can no longer update this blog. Hold dearly to any picture of me you have because I can’t even show my face on the internet anymore. I can’t get ahold of you or update you on where I am or if I’m even alive. I have to spend the rest of my life as low-profile as possible. Please don’t try calling, I’ll no longer have my phone. The government has been tracking it. You see, I was caught going to a church.
At first I didn’t think much of it.. but the more I went, the more questions I asked, the more real it became. I even prayed and felt God move in me. I gave my life to Christ and declared Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
I suppose I could have hid it.
I knew that I found something.. something REAL. Or perhaps He found Me. I am not going to spend my life living a lie. I’m not going to hide my faith, I’m going to share it. I’m going to go wherever I can. I’m going to serve the Lord and be His hands and feet wherever He leads me.
And guess what, He’s worth it all.
—
This is not the reality I’m faced with but this isn’t even the beginning of what is going on in the lives of people all over the world.
I cannot fathom facing religious persecution. Real religious persecution.
I can’t imagine being beaten and threatened by police or even the very people that raised me. I can’t imaging my parents telling me that I didn’t have the choice or telling me that I was a disgrace. I can’t imagine having to hide my face from the internet so that my government wouldn’t find me because I didn’t have religious freedom. I can’t imagine having to cut all ties with friends and family in order to keep safe. I can’t imagine being faced with the life or death decision to renounce my faith in Jesus.
I’ve come up with a million and one excuses to justify my sin, to justify not sharing the gospel, to justify living my life in the grey area, to justify living like a nominal Christian.
I’ve had the privilege to do so.
But I’m learning that there are millions of people who don’t have the right to live the life of a mediocre Christian. They don’t have the “right” to live the life of a Christian at all.
I was going to throw a disclaimer in saying:
“I didn’t write this to upset you so I’m sorry if it did…”
But then I realized that statement was a lie.
I guess in some way, I did write this to upset you.. This should be upsetting. This is real.
It’s real life for more people than I can wrap my mind around. Most of the time I can’t even wrap my mind around the thought of it.
The stories I’ve heard from individuals take my breath alway. They make me furious.
The injustice churns my stomach and the only thing I can do to stop my blood from beginning to boil is to praise God.
Praise God for who He is.
Praise God for the Truth that was found.
Praise God for the boldness, bravery, and assurance found in these men and women.
Praise God I’ve never found myself in that situation.
Praise God that He is worth it.
Praise God that He’s worth it all.
I pray that the words “You are worth it all” will forever be changed in my heart and I pray that God would open your heart and mind to find new meanings as well.
Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10 ESV
