The past year of my life has been the most incredible opportunity. Ive truly been blessed to be able to take an entire year to focus only on following the Lords calling on my life. This last month on the race and few days in San Francisco will hopefully be a time where I can reflect, rejoice, and morn the end of this season in my life and prepare to enter joyfully into the next. I am truly so so excited and overjoyed to come home and see everyone of you. To get back into a normal routine and not have to pick up my entire life every 27ish days and move to a new country. But I also want you all to know that the race has become my life. My squad has become my family. And leaving all this in 2 weeks is going to be so challenging.
For the past 11 months my world has looked so much different than I’d ever imagined it would. I have grown accustomed to carrying everything I own on my back and living out of that bag everyday since there isn’t ever anywhere to unpack. It’s normal for me to be surrounded by the same constant community 24/7, to always have someone to talk to or who needs to talk, to carry around wads of toilet paper in my pockets because you just wont find it in any public bathrooms, or in any bathroom for that matter. I don’t blink an eye at having to sleep on the floor, at only getting to take a shower once a week, at having team time once a day(where my team gathers and hangs out), or to know I’m the only person in the room that speaks fluent english. It’s also the most bizarre feeling when I see other white people roaming around the places I live because most of the time my team and I are the only white people in the area.
Ive developed habits I never thought I would like speaking in broken english because if I spoke in full sentences the people I’m communicating with wont be able to keep up, so I have tailored my speech to make it easier to understand and translate. I have developed a deep disgust for white rice because it has been the main component of my diet for the past 5 months(but a reoccurring menu item for the past 11). I can put on a 2 hours children’s program at the drop of a hat(Which is my JAM) and share my testimony within 5 minutes.
I’ve also made deep connections with so many numerous people on 3 separate continents, fell in love with every landscape my eyes have locked onto, loved and been loved by more children than I could ever count, been able to pray for the sick daily, and had the opportunity to experience what it truly means to live in an upside down Kingdom. To live radically.
Some parts of me I will never be able to bring back home…. because they were left with the people and in the sweet moments in which my life was changed. A part of me was left in the rancho in Nicaragua, in a village with “Grandma” in the Lesotho, at the girls home in Swaziland, in the peace and serenity that is Phang Nga, Thailand, on a dirt field in Cambodia with the sweetest street kids this world could meet, and with a sweet seven year old in Indonesia. These people, these places have captured my heart and changed my perspective on life. Helped shape my discernment of what is really important to me and what isn’t worth stressing over. They’ve taken me in as one of their own and allowed me to leave as apart of them. I think sometimes the world can seem like a very big, very scary place, but once you immerse yourself in the beauty of each individual culture you’ll quickly find out that the people and places aren’t scary and they aren’t overwhelming. But they are really just an extension of the family and home God intended you to have all along.
How many blessings and sweet encounters are we missing out on if we confine ourselves to one place for our entire lives? I know I would have missed out on one heck of a year if I would have let fear keep me from experiencing everything that has been the world race and the past 11 months.
Which is exactly why I have no doubt that the Lord is walking into this next season hand in hand with me. When I think about coming home, moving back into my parents, having to get a job, leaving my squad, and having to reintegrate into American society I get NERVOUS.
But why?
Well honestly complacency scares the pants off of me and what I would like to do for the rest of my life is still undetermined… but who cares?! God has taught me an awful lot these past few months about trusting Him and following His call without knowing the end result. So here I am. Somewhere between terrified and pumped about the race ending and returning home(leaning more towards pumped) And you know what?? I think its honestly going to be the greatest thing ever. Because I was NERVOUS AS HECK to come on the race and wow was it the greatest decision of my life! So why cant coming home and embracing whatever God has planned next for me be EXCITING AS ALL GET OUT?! I always say if it makes you have butterflies in your stomach Gods probably prompting you to do it…. and let me tell you its like a butterfly sanctuary in my belly!
I wanted to write this blog to all of you to invite you in. Invite you into a glimpse at what my life has become over the past 11 months and allow you to walk alongside me as I try to transition back into what is now very unknown territory. I have so many stories, experiences, and sweet moments with the Father that I have been collecting over the past 11 months, but I’m not quite sure I know how to put all of them into words just yet. I have such a strong desire to speak about the Lords goodness and tell of His works throughout the world that I have had the ability to witness.
But I am going to be completely honest with you if I was asked “How was it?”
I wouldn’t be able to answer. Because “Good” will never be adequate enough to describe the last year of my life and I’m going to assume you probably don’t want the entire 4 hour spiel with photo slide and video montage. Or maybe you do…. in which case Ill probably ask if you want the spiel…. anyway what I am trying to get at here is that I would be so blessed with SPECIFIC questions. Like “How was (insert country of inquiry here)” or “What was your favorite adventure day?” Or “What was the best meal you ate on the race?”
Now stay with me I want questions! I want to tell you all about everything… trust me I have a 4 hour spiel and photo slide with video montage. The last 11 months have changed my life… I am on FIRE for talking about Gods goodness in my life.
So ASK!
When you see me in 3 weeks don’t be afraid to ask me about it all! And if you ask “How was it?” That’s okay too. Because a year is a long time and sometimes there just isn’t time for every individual question. But I don’t want you to be weary of bombarding me or overwhelming me. I am making sure to give myself ample time to reflect, to spend time with God, and to ease myself back into home. AND I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH already. By the time I get back home and to church in a few weeks ill be shaking in my boots to hug each and everyone of you!
From the bottom of my heart thank you. For your love, support, donations, everything! I wouldn’t have ever made it to this point in this journey without each and every one of you. I will be forever grateful for all of your obedient hearts to our Father and for helping me make this dream of being a missionary a reality. I will never be able to repay you all, but I will have some amazing stories and testimonies for you to hear. And you can know that you had a hand in the Lords work in and through my life these past 11 months.
Thanks for tracking me all around the world and for always believing in me!
I’ll be seeing you all REAL soon!!
Always,
Mar
