Yesterday marked the half way point of my race and the fact that I have already been on the field for six months baffles me. We’re in Jeffrey’s Bay, South Africa, the first of six countries to feel like home.
Just about everyone here speaks English, the access to things like grocery stores or restaurants is just like the states, the living accommodations are the best we’ve experienced thus far (we’re staying in a condo), I could go on and on. Needless to say, this place feels like home. Worse than that, this place feels like where I want my new home to be.
Jeffrey’s Bay is a small little surf town with a Christian community that I did not expect. The community is booming with people who are constantly pouring into one another so they can then pour out. They desire so much for the whole city to know Jesus and they are so active in sharing Him. In the two-ish weeks that I have been here, I have already seen and learned what it looks like to live in a strong Christian community with people who are so Kingdom driven. It changes all of your interactions. These people live to encourage one another, sharpen one another, share everything they have with random missionaries from America, and share the love of Jesus to everyone.
My flesh dreams of the future, what life after the race will look like, while my spirit is rooted in the present, thriving in the opportunity to serve the Kingdom. I am in a constant battle of spirit and flesh.
Being halfway through this crazy journey, “life” starts to creep is way back in. I want to know what I will be doing when I get home, where God will call me to grow my roots, what my community will look like, etc. Being in JBay at the half way point has proven harder than I expected. My heart is drawn to the beach, and I immediately felt at home here in this community. Its a place where I could seriously see myself living, growing, and ministering.
Even though I am invested in ministry here, my thoughts are constantly looking at how I can logistically live here. How and when do I get back, where do I stay, where would I work. Thoughts like this, even though it might not feel like it, pull me out of the present. My heart then isn’t fully in ministry, because its in the future, where it can’t do anything but dream. I have to actively give myself a heart check and ask, “What are you really here for?” “Are you living in the present?”
When I pull myself out of the present, I unintentionally begin building a wall between me and God. I stop hearing Him and stop seeking Him out because my heart isnt actively searching for what I can be doing now. So the question now is, can I die to my flesh?
“And he said to all, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'” Luke 9:23
This verse resonates with me right now. I have to deny my flesh every single day and live in the Spirit. It has become easier to deny my flesh, live in the moment, and be open to what the Lord has for me here in Jeffrey’s Bay, but its still a constant battle. As much as I love this place and want this (or a place like it) to be my future, I have shelved it for now. There is no benefit to dwell on what may or may not be, when I’m here for a bigger purpose. Although it feels like my flesh might be winning some of the battles, my spirit is winning the war.
Fundraising update:
I am in need of $850 to be fully funded! I have until the end of this month to reach that deadline. I ask that you continue to pray for me, that the funds will come in, and I will be able to continue my race. Please share with your network, or consider donating. Any amount you can give will help me be one step closer to reaching my goal! Thank you for all you guys to for me and how well you love and support me! I wouldn’t be here without you.
