I have easily experienced one of my hardest days on the race thus far. No, it wasn’t because of ministry or because of some crazy travel day, it was because I thought it would be fun to hike a volcano. Boy was I wrong.
Heres some brief information about Volcán Barú:
– Volcán Barú is the tallest mountain in Panama, located just outside of Boquete, a 2 hour drive from where my team is staying.
-It sits at an elevation of 3,475 m (11,400 ft) above sea level and is a 13.5 km (8.4 miles) hike from start to summit with an elevation gain of 1,700 m (5,577 ft).
-The path is about a 10 foot wide, steep gravel road the whole way up.
-The most popular way to do it is starting around midnight in order to catch the sunrise at the summit around 6-6:30 am, which is what we did.
Mary Beth, Anna, and myself begin our hike around 11:45pm. Our headlamps are on, are shoelaces are tight, and our spirits are high. We meet up with two Finnish guys who forgot their headlamps, so the tagged onto our group. We get to chatting and laughing, and before you know it, an hour has past.
My thoughts at this point: Great, this is going to be so easy, an hour is already up and I feel awesome.
My breathing is labored at this point, but I figure the trail will flatten out soon enough, because we cant walk up hill for 6 hours straight right? Wrong. Again. There is about 20 minutes total of the 6 hour hike up the volcano that is flat ground or downhill. I did not sign up for this.
Fast-forward to my hour three thoughts: Oh wow, okay. Were only half way done. Thats cool. I can push through. Don’t be the last person and don’t let them know you’re dying. Oh crap, Im falling behind, pick up the pace Lynden!
I put on some music to pass the time and get my mind off of the exhaustion I felt creeping in. Mary Beth is booking it up the mountain, having the time of her life. Anna and I, not so much. We eventually fall to the back of the group, joking about how everyone should just leave us at the bottom and come back for us later.
Our breaks become more and more frequent, stopping to catch my breath, give my back a break from carrying my all too heavy back pack, and let my muscles relax. This is great and all, but the longer we stopped for, the colder it got. The wind picked up and dried the sweat on our clothes, just adding to the chill we were already experiencing.
Anna and I started praying out loud. God, give us your strength. Give us your joy. Let us feel your presence. We can’t make it up this mountain without you. Please. Refill our bodies with energy. I cant do this anymore.
The prayers continued, both verbally and internally, for the last quarter of the hike. Frustration began to set in. It felt like we were being ignored by God. No renewed energy. No extra strength. No nothing.
At one point, I remember flopping to the ground because my legs couldn’t hold me up anymore. I laid on the cold, rocky ground, took a deep breath, and decided I wasn’t going to finish the hike. I sat on the ground for about ten minutes trying to convince myself that it was worth it to keep going. That the view from the top would make all the pain worth it.
Mary Beth, ever the encourager, was trying to convince me that we were almost to the top. “Come on, you can do it, you’re almost to the top of this hill. You’re so close”
My thoughts: If she tries to make a joke, Im going to punch her. If she tries to comfort me, Im going to punch her. If she tries any harder to get me to make it to the top of this volcano, Im going to punch her.
She didn’t try any of those things. Instead, she started praying. Her prayer gave me enough strength to get up and decided that it was worth it to finish the hike. We FINALLY made it to the summit. After hours and hours of pushing my body past its limits, I made the final trek to a secluded little rock to watch the sun rise. The wind was howling, the temperature had dropped to about 30 degrees, and my eyes were fighting to stay awake. But I had made it, and I was going to watch this sunrise dang it! I turned my head to the rising sun, and what do I see….rows and rows of CELL TOWERS. Right there obscuring my view.
My thoughts: Are you freaking kidding me. I hiked the most difficult volcano ever to see a sunrise, only to have it clouded by metal. What a waste of a day. I hate everything. This is stupid, I have so many regrets. I honestly should just sleep on this rock until someone tells me its time to leave. Also, theres no way I will be walking my butt down this mountain. Ill get a ride from someone or call the park ranger.
To make a reeeeaaly long story shorter, we were told that we were going to be able to get a ride down the volcano. We waited two hours for the guy to show up. He never did. I cried. We hiked down, I hurt my knee and hip about 2 hours into the hike down. I cried some more. We prayed for healing. Nothing happened. I couldn’t make it the last 2km, we flagged a stranger down. Got a ride. Got stuck at the bottom of the volcano. A potato farmer had pity on us and drove us back to Boquete. We finally made it home.
It took a couple of days for me to process this whole journey, and I still don’t think Gods revealed everything to me yet. Even though this might go down as one of the most miserable days yet, it will hold a special place in my heart. Lemme tell ya why!
Im currently reading through “A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23” and there has been so many thing that have reminded me of this hike. Bear with me while I quote through this book.
“Our great Good Shepherd is going ahead of us in every situation, anticipating what danger we may encounter, and praying for us that in it we might not succumb.”
God went BEFORE me on this hike. He saw the danger that I may have encountered and actively rooted for me.
“But Christ is too concerned about us to allow this to happen. Our Shepherd wants to forestall such a calamity. He wants our mountaintop times to be tranquil interludes. And they will be if we just have the common sense to stay near Him where He can protect us.”
God did not leave us but protected us: I could have fallen down the mountain. I could have passed out from over exertion. I could have blown out my knee. It could have rained, or been cloudy at the top. I could have gotten lost. None of those things happened. It wasn’t ideal, but the Lord showed his hand the whole time we were hiking.
“He has known our sufferings, experienced our sorrows, and endured our struggles in this life; He was a Man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief. Because of this He understands us; He has totally identified Himself with humanity. He has, therefore, a care and compassion for us beyond our ability to grasp. No wonder He makes every possible provision to insure that when we have to cope with Satan, sin, or self, the contest will not be one-sided. Rather, we can be sure He has been in that situation before; He is in it now again with us, and because of this, the prospects of our preservation are excellent.”
What. Guys thats so cool. He has gone through a hike of his own before AND STILL CHOSE TO HIKE THIS WITH ME. He knew what I was feeling because he has felt it before.
“As was pointed out previously, you do not have mountains without valleys, and even on the mountaintop there can be some tough experiences. Just because the shepherd has gone ahead and made every possible provision for the safety and welfare of his sheep while they are on the summer range does not mean they will not have problems there. Predators can still attack, poisonous weeds can still grow, storms and gales can still come swirling up over the peaks, and a dozen other hazards can haunt the high country. Yet in His care and concern for us, Christ still insures that we shall have some gladness with our sadness, some delightful days as well as dark days, some sunshine as well as shadows.”
Much like this volcano hike, our walk with God wasn’t promised to be easy. We were promised eternal life and paradise with God the Father, but not a happy rainbow walk to get there. Were going to trip and stumble, even fall flat on our faces at times, but God is constantly there to encourage us and remind us the purpose of our walk. He will show us joy in the suffering.
So thats pretty much all I’ve got. This is just one of the many many things that has happened this month, but God still proved himself faithful. Thanks for taking the time to read this dramady! It was quite the adventure, but something I wouldn’t change for the world.
