Hi friends!! Here’s something I’ve been thinking about recently that I wanted to share!
When people would ask me about why I wanted to go on the World Race, I would give them a list of reasons why I felt like I was being called to/was excited about giving up my comfortable American lifestyle for 9 months. But giving up certain comforts from home was also a big reason that I was afraid to leave… thoughts about anything from losing communication with my friends at home to having my own room made me anxious leading up to launch. Unexpectedly to me, I jumped right in to life overseas despite my initial fears of losing those things. There were and still are hard days, but I definitely expected the adjustment process to be way more uncomfortable and difficult than what I experienced. Through my experience adjusting to life overseas, I have been realizing that maybe my comfort zone lies in more areas than just the physical.
On our second Monday in Swaziland, our squad had ATL. ATL stands for ask the Lord… that day we entered into a time of prayer to sit with the Lord and ask what he had for us and the squad as a whole. I always go into times like this feeling defeated, uncomfortable, and frustrated. Listening prayer and hearing from the Lord is not something I grew up being taught or something I have ever been exposed to until training camp. I struggle to separate my own feelings and thoughts from what he could be trying to tell me. As I sat reading my Bible and praying that morning, I felt and heard nothing. After talking to a friend later, I realized that maybe I could be overlooking things the Lord has already taught me. I have learned so much about the Lord’s character over the years by listening to those older and wiser than me and by being in His word. Every day I am growing more. I don’t have to compare my knowledge to the knowledge of those around me… comparison is the biggest thief of joy and I can find something to compare myself to in every situation every day. But the Lord is at work sanctifying everyone in His time. I feel more immature in my knowledge of the Bible, Jesus and His life. But instead of letting that discourage me, I can use it to motivate me to learn and seek him more!
While talking to one of my squad leaders at debrief, he encouraged me to press deeper into the Lord in those areas that I don’t understand. I realized that maybe my comfort zone lies less in my physical condition and more in my spiritual condition. I can continue to be aggravated and confused that I haven’t heard the Lord’s voice, or I can stay expectant knowing that he can and will speak.
“Instead of emphasizing our inability to hear God’s voice, emphasize His ability to be heard.”
This month I am praying for opportunities to go deeper in my relationship with the Lord in new ways and learn something new every day. I want to understand more about his heart and purpose for my life! I am so excited to see the ways he continues to work this month.
Thank you for reading!!
