“I’m never going back to Cambodia ever again.” – me about 3 months ago when we flew out of Siem Reap.
Months 5 and 6 of my Race were spent in Cambodia and they were undoubtedly the hardest months of the whole thing. Sickness spread across our squad like a wildfire. It was deathly hot and I literally never stopped sweating. I taught English for 2 months and I loved the kids, but wasn’t a big fan of teaching. Overall, I decided not to choose joy. I chose into the lies that because things were hard, I couldn’t have joy. Because of all these things, I associated Cambodia with sadness and darkness, and decided that I never wanted to go back in my entire life.
In my last blog, I shared that I will be Alumni Team Leading for next year’s Gap Year program and was still missing some details, such as where I would be going. This week I learned that I will be heading back to Cambodia for 3 more months. My initial thoughts were something along the lines of “No. Is this a joke? I do NOT want to go back there.”
As I’ve spent time with Lord really working through the fact that I’ll be going back to a country I didn’t think I really like, I was reminded that just because something is hard, doesn’t mean that it’s bad. When I look back at the 2 months I spent in Cambodia, they were so, so hard, but they were the most growing months I’ve had on the Race. The Lord taught and stretched me there more than anywhere else, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
Like I mentioned earlier, throughout my time in Cambodia I didn’t choose joy. Choose is the key word here. Joy is a choice. Even when things get tough, we can choose to be joyful. Hebrews 12:2 tells us “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” If Jesus chose joy on the cross, we can choose joy in hard circumstances.
And I’m going to chose joy in Cambodia for 3 more months. The Lord is going to move in mighty ways, I’m sure of it. We serve a God of redemption, and I believe that He is going to redeem Cambodia for me.
I would encourage anybody reading this to choose joy, and let the Lord redeem anything that you may be harboring bitterness towards. Because He will. It’s who He is.
In order to go back to Cambodia for 3 more months as a team leader I’m fundraising again, so please prayerfully consider donating to that trip at the top of this blog.
