Eleven days. Eleven days until my life changes in a way that it never has before. I will be leaving the comfort of my home, family, friends, and church here in Canton, Texas – to see what the Lord has for me in the country of India. As crazy, adventurous, and exciting as this sounds; I am terrified. For the last eighteen years, I have built my life in order to make myself comfortable with my surroundings. I am chosen what friends make me feel loved, and to be around them accordingly. I have chosen what education I will partake in through desires of my flesh and my wants. I have even chosen what clothes I feel will help me ‘fit in’ to my life easier. I have written my own story. I have built my own kingdom of self glory. Until this point in my life, I hadn’t realized what I was doing was wrong. I thought life was all about what makes you happy and your dream/desires. Then I really dug into the story of Job this summer. May sound Cheesy but, Job suffered. He lived genuinely what I believe was the hardest life to live next to Jesus Himself. Job’s kingdom was brought down on Him, simply because Satan hated him and wanted him to suffer for the glory he brought to the Lord. Realizing this, I looked for Satan attacking me – I kept my guard up, and nothing. After a summer full of serving Jesus, I realized. I had been glorifying my own self. I love the satisfaction that I receive through the, “Wow, what a servants heart!”, and the “You are such an inspiration, I can’t believe you’re going to love on the people of SIX different countries!!” To be quite frank though, I am human so why wouldn’t I take these comments and put them in my pocket to hold and remind myself of them when I am feeling empty? Seems okay right? Boy, I was WRONG. Once all the summer festivities slowed down, my friends all began to leave for college, and my remaining friends began the next year of high school; I began to realize life was moving forward and I was stuck in this awkward transition of almost moving on to the next chapter of my life. The clock has constantly been counting down in my head, but along side of that my thoughts have ran ramped. Things like, “Nine months is a long time, I’m gonna miss out on so much. People are gonna forget me!!” and I know that sounds super annoying from someone who is getting the literal honor to travel the world telling all sorts of people about our King Jesus. But thats the way it was. I had build this world of self glory, only to realize that it is coming to an end. That I in fact only have eleven days left to live in this world I’ve laid before me. No longer will these people know of all the good things I’ve done in high school, the jokes I told that make my friends think I’m funny, or the things I’ve done to ‘make my mark’ on MY world.
BUT. As one door closes, another opens.
Through this door, I am shown grace by Jesus to start over fresh.
Starting now, and In this next year and chapter of my life – I am giving God my story book. I am gonna let him re-construct my world and my life. It is my prayer that as I leave in merely 11 days that Jesus begins to prepare my heart now. That over the next 9 months I will be wrecked and MY world of self glory will be destroyed. That my flesh will become nothing but weak. That the spirit of the Lord will become strong in me and that I can flee from my earthly desires. I pray that I receive no glory of ‘giving up a year of my life,’ because Jesus GAVE HIS LIFE! I deserve nothing in comparison to the gift he has given to me.
Thank you all for helping me achieve this journey that were starting, together. Eleven days, we can do this. Here’s to letting Jesus intervene and dying to ourselves this year. Its your world Jesus, now show us around.
Financial Update: as I write this blog I have just passed the $9,000 mark (contrary to my fundraising bar, its still updating) but still desperately need $10,000 to leave. I need less than a thousand, and I am so believing that the Lord is going to continue to show up the way He has in fundraising. This has been such a cool yet tedious process, and I am thankful that I have taken you all with me on this journey. if you feel led click that orange donate button to the top right of this blog. I love you all. Thank you in advance.
