12:17 AM. I sit and feel broken, each night, knowing that i have failed my Savior once again. i am falling at the hands and feet of my Lord begging for Him to send me in the right direction, because what i want and what He wants for me are two totally different things. Every single day i face obstacles that give me the opportunity to go against Him, or be a testament to Him. As you can probably guess at times, i go against God and rebel for what i want because my flesh is selfish. I am selfish. I put myself above others. Now while this isn’t okay, i am working on it. On a personal level, i have struggled so deeply with speaking negativity over people, and not being able to be a trust worthy vessel to my peers, friends, and family. I have prayed about this very deeply and asked that God keeps me accountable for those two things specifically- and BOY HAS HE BEEN FAITHFUL!!! Since i have started praying about those two things the last couple of months i have seen a change in myself when it comes to those two things so deeply. I realize now that when people come to me and confide to me their frustrations, problems, and situations that it gives me the opportunity to build trust in our relationship. Through this, i can better show them the love of Christ, and that is my ultimate goal. Honestly, i have to be real with all of you, this journey has NOT been easy. i still get frustrated when people say, “Oh no, don’t tell Logan, he will literally tell everyone. He can’t keep a secret.” but i rest easy in the fact that Christ sees me as His creation. His Trust worthy creation. Jesus Christ Trust me enough to be His vessel, therefore i should show that Trust to those around me through His unending and unfathomable love. i, Logan Martini, am a crazy, confused, loved, trustworthy, broken Work In Progress
