To be honest, I have hit a pretty low point in the race. World racers refer to this as the “b zone.” I have found myself complaining, homesick, mentally exhausted, and just feeling sort of done. It is easy to pretend on social media that everything is going great and that I am thriving in this last stretch of the race. I get to hangout with adorable children everyday and show them the love of Jesus which is such an insane opportunity but there is more to it.
My team and two others have been working at a refugee camp with around 500 people who live in it. These people were living on the Ethiopian/Somali border but were forced to leave their homes because of the territorial wars going on. Each day we drive to the camp, a swarm of children run to greet us with smiles, kisses, and hugs. We teach them English, sing songs with them, and try our best to keep them entertained. Most days we go to this big field and run around with them. Within our first week at the camp, we all noticed how violent some of the children were. Multiple fights would break out each day. Children would throw rocks at each other and it left me feeling powerless and angry that nobody was trying to stop them. My days of laughing with the children turned into days of breaking up fights. Each day I would get super overwhelmed and not want to go back. Each day has been a battle. A battle against satan trying to bring me down. I have to always go back to the cross and to the God who loves me and who loves all His children. Although we aren’t able to speak the name of Jesus at this camp, we have His Holy Spirit in each of us. Every time we step foot into the refugee camp, the Holy Spirit floods in. I have to remember that the same power that was inside of Jesus while He was on this earth is the same power inside of me.
So although every day is not easy, God works in the struggle. He reveals Himself throughout all the pain and suffering I see. Jesus tells me to lay it all down at His feet and just to sit and be still with Him. I am learning to let go of things that are out of my control and to let Jesus take hold of them. Christ chose me before knowing if I would ever follow Him. My Jesus loves in bold, shocking ways and He is teaching me how to love His children in the same way. To love them the same, despite the violence and bitterness they are living in.
