Our first Sunday here in Vietnam, we attended a church run by the same people we do ministry with. An American pastor from Washington spoke on identity. His name is Pastor Tim and it’s safe to say that he is one of the most animated and passionate people we have a met on the race.
He got up there and when the first slide of his sermon had the word identity on it, I sat back in my chair. My initial thought was, I know how this is going to go, I’ve heard it all. Understanding my identity in Christ and living accordingly is something I have spent years growing in. I sat there under the assumption that I would not be hearing anything new. I was completely wrong.
He used a sticky note to illustrate his idea. He explained how growing up in life we receive false identities. He shared that a false identity that he has lived with is that he is difficult to love. He held up a sticky note, came and stood in front of me and asked for a false identity of mine. I shared that mine is, I am expendable. He held up the sticky note, repeated “expendable”, and then placed it on my shoulder. He explained that in that situation he was the identifier and I was the identified.
He gave other examples of how this happens in our lives. Maybe someone says something hurtful to us, maybe we are trapped in a situation and start to believe something about ourselves etc. In every situation the identifier gives an identity to the identified and the identified leaves changed because of it..
At this point, he started to shift gears to explain how important it is to know who we are in Christ. I expected a list of verses to come up that I’ve heard before. Maybe Ephesians 2, Psalm 139, 1 John 3, Romans 8?
We are 0-2 in the humility game at this point. When he asked us to turn to Mark 8:29 I was taken aback and intrigued.
The passage reads,
And he asked them, “But who do you say that I am?” Peter answered him, “You are the Christ.”
He shared that this passage is extremely important because for the first time the identifier gives an identity to the identified an the identifier is changed. Peter (identifier) looks at Jesus (identified) and said, “You are the Christ” and Peter (identifier) left changed.
He explained that it is crucial that we identify Jesus as the son of God in order to receive our identity. We ran out of time in church and he summed up his sermon with a quick message of encouragement and I thought about that sermon for days after.
I thought about what it looks like to be in a relationship with God, something I have heard my whole life but still don’t fully understand.
I was talking with another squad-mate one time and asked him about when Eve ate the apple in the garden. If she was living in perfect communion with God, how was there even a thought in her mind that entertained the idea that maybe there could be more? How did the devil grab hold of her even in complete communion with God? Doesn’t that mean that God’s love is not enough even in a perfect relationship with Him? And furthermore, why did that tree exist anyway?
We talked a lot about it and I realized my questions were misguided. God wants a relationship with us. The dynamic of relationship is two ways. God choosing us and us choosing him. God created the tree of knowledge of good and evil so that by not eating from it, Adam and Eve were choosing God. When the devil tempted Eve and they both ate, their relationship with God was severed because they stopped choosing God and chose themselves.
I thought about what my relationship with God has looked like in the past year. Have I been choosing God?
A lot of my prayers this past year have been out of a place of desperation. God please do not leave me. Remind me of who you are. Meet me here in this place. Remind me, remind me.
Ever been in a friendship/relationship where you have to constantly remind the other person that you love them? Ever been that friend that constantly needs reminding? #GUILTY. It is exhausting on both sides.
It is okay to be in a valley and need to cry out. The wonderful thing about God is he never gets exhausted in reminding us how much he loves us. However, constantly asking for reassurance and forgetting to choose God has trapped me in a poverty mindset that usually leads me to question God’s character and ultimately my identity. To experience the full security, freedom and love that the Lord offers in relationship with Him, I have to choose Him. Identify Him. And when we do, we leave changed.
People tell me all the time that I ask great questions. Questions are good, but too many lead to a endless trap of confusion. I feel the Lord drawing me into a confidence of who He is that does not end in a question mark.
In an effort to choose him, I want to start declaring:
You hear me. Versus. Do you hear me?
You know me. Versus. Do you know me?
You will provide. Versus. Will I have enough?
You love me. Versus. Tell me again that you love me.
You are the sovereign Lord almighty to which everything has to bow. Versus. Help me remember who you are.
Another beautiful thing about God is he is forever the initiator. He loved us first. With that, his love generates a response. It invites a relationship. We have to RSVP people, know what I’m saying?
In my search to live out my identity, God is looking back at me just like Jesus did to Peter and asking me, “Kim, who do you say that I am?”
What would happen if we all chose God? What would happen to our fear? Our confidence in our identity? Our assurance in what we hope for?
Team Jubilee is absolutely loving life here in Da Nang, Vietnam. We live in a spotless blue house just down the street from the beach. Our host is Korean woman named Mrs. Kim (we had a good laugh about our names) who openly told us that her hobby is cleaning. I came home one day and found that my shoes were missing. Mrs. Kim ran right up to me and said, “Kim! Your shoes, smell so bad, I wash, three hours.” She then led me into her bathroom and I saw my now good as new shoes soaking in an unidentified liquid with the soles and laces hanging to dry just above. Mrs. Kim delights in serving others.
There is another woman named Patricia who lives in Mrs. Kim’s house with us. She is from Venezuela and received a call from the Lord to go a country, that I cannot name for security reasons, to do missions. She is here developing her English so that she can join her team in that country soon. She is absolutely incredible. Stay tuned for a blog about her. I love her with all of my heart. All of my favorite moments this month have been with her. I wish I could capture her spirit, passion, humility and beauty in a paragraph. She lives and breathes Jesus.
We serve along side a man named Daniel and his team at Vision Cafe. Vision Cafe is a coffee shop down the street from Mrs. Kim’s house. It is run by a team of people who want to bring the gospel to Vietnam through providing a place for people to come, build relationships, drink good coffee and practice English. As a team we spend our weekdays there from 3pm to about 9:30pm conversing with all kinds of people who live in Da Nang. Every weekday we run an English club from 7:45pm-9pm. We have made a couple of great friends. Pray specifically for a young man named Michael. We really sense that the Lord is after him.
