O devil how well you lie to me
How cunning are your whispers that target the deepest fears of my heart
How vivid are the worries that replay over in my mind until my soul loses the will to fight
How quickly your deception brings me to tears and causes me to question to the love of God
Question His promises
Question His character
O sometimes how I wish I could hide
How I wish I did not wear my thoughts on my face and my feelings on my sleeve
How I wish I could conceal the shame and fear that instantly steal my thoughts and trap me in bondage
How I wish my feelings did not expose a heart posture that is still anchored in the approval of man
In the wisdom of the world
In the lies of the enemy
O God how thankful I am that I cannot hide
How grateful I am that my feelings expose the fear-filled places of my heart that keep me from trusting You
How blessed I am with teammates who call me out of shame even when I resist
How often have I grown defensive in response to feeling exposed but they have loved me back with Your patience
Your persistence
Your relentless pursuit
O Lord how you have humbled me this month
You have revealed things that I speak over myself that reinforce a poverty mentality
You have shown me multiple areas where I seek to glorify myself instead of only You
You have shown me the difference between escaping and taking refuge in who You are
Who You were
And who You will always be
Oh Jesus how I need You every hour
Let Your perfect love drown the lies of the enemy and the areas of my heart that haven’t let go of control
Let my foundation not be based on how much I pursue You but an overflow of how grateful I am that You pursue me
Let Scripture be my one desire day and night until my thoughts are Your thoughts
Your desires are my desires
Your truth becomes my heart’s truth
O how I will always praise You
I am brought to my knees in gratitude that in the midst of my stubbornness and blindness You still choose me
I am brought to tears turning back to you with the deepest fears of my heart, letting Your voice silence the enemy’s attack
I am brought to the cross in remembrance that You made a way for us back to the Father as You hung there claiming victory over the world
Putting death to shame
Singing victory over me
