Romans 8:28 says “God works all things for his good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose”.
In this season of my life I’m having a very hard time finding that “good” the Bible talks about. I believe it to be true, but right now I can’t seem to think of a single good thing that could come out of my heartbreak. I go to bed every night re living the moment my whole world was turned upside down. I pray myself to sleep every single night and still wake up feeling the same emptiness as the night/day before. I pray asking God to reveal the “good” to me, and it’s yet to happen. I often ask the question why. Of anything that could have happened while I was on the race why did I have to lose my grandpa. Why do I have to go through this alone, why do I not get to be there for my mom. None of it makes sense and I know it’s not supposed to. I know that God has a plan. I know that I don’t even need to know what that plan is. I also know that at some point in my life I will look back and see how the Lord changed my life for the better through this heartbreak, but right now I’m not okay, and not sure when I will be. But I am working on getting there.
God is teaching me some crazy things through this. I’m processing things that I’ve shoved in the back of my mind and never dealt with, but thought I was over and healed from. I’m learning things about myself and God’s character that I thought I already knew. I’m excited to see where God takes me through all of this, but I know it’s going to take some time.
There is one thing I need from you all.
I need you to keep praying for me. This is hard. The hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, and it’s messy. I will keep pushing through because I know that’s what I’m supposed to do, but I don’t want to. I need strength because I don’t have it right now. So please continue praying and being the amazing people to me that you all have been.
Blessings,
Kimbra
