When I was 16 I thought I had it all figured out. I would go to college 15 minutes from Momma so I could see her every day. I was going to go to college to be a 1st grade teacher. Be married by the time I was 22 and having kids by 23. Of all of those things would you like to know which ones actually happened?? NONE OF THEM!
I went to college 2 hours away from Momma. Stopped going after two years. Decided to go into the missions field. I am not married… don’t even have a boyfriend which you could probably guess leads me to having 0 kids. I had all of these plans all of which I thought God would most certainly go along with. Did you notice what I just said? “ God would go along with.” I am literally laughing at myself right now. God doesn’t just “go along” with my plans. In fact what are plans??? He makes my plans for me. You’d think after all of these years I would have stopped making those plans. Considering I am now 22 years old haven’t had one plan that I’ve made actually work out.
Several years leading up to the race if you asked me what I desired most I would have said to be a mom. Not a wife, but a mom. Now of course I wanted to be a wife, but more importantly I wanted to be a mom. I love children so very much, and have always desired to have a big family. I never thought that desire and want for my life was a bad thing until about 4 months ago. I was on a bus terrified for my life, driving through the mountains of South America going way faster than we should have been. I was praying to God for protection. In that moment he asked me “Do you trust me?” My answer was obviously yes… well duh Kimbra. God put you on this bus so chill the heck out… alright alright!!! So for the next 6 hours I sit there staring at the Lords beautiful creations. Asking the lord what he has for me right now. What is something I need to discover? Throughout those 6 hours I started discovering that my desire for children was all coming from the wrong place. I know that the lord blesses us with children, but in that he first gives us a spouse who should then be the most important person in our lives. My entire life I looked at marriage as my way of having children which looking back is sad. God has been showing me how beautiful a marriage is supposed to be. Solely for the pursuit of the Lord alongside my husband. I desire now to be a wife more than anything. I desire that partner to love with all of my heart, and to love the lord with. To further this kingdom, and to one day raise our children to do the same! God is teaching me beautiful things throughout my time on the race. I know he’s got the most perfect plan for my life. I just have to say yes!!
