So I have been trying to muster up a blog for some time now and I have come to the conclusion that I have both so much to say and also nothing to say at all. I am in a world full of complete confusion and also utter understanding of myself and life. I may make no sense to most, but to me I can’t describe my current life right now other than that I am a walking juxtaposition. Living in Cambodia, has brought the utmost joy while I enjoy my bike rides throughout the city of Battambang, but it also has brought the utmost sorrow as I pass by numerous brothels where women are being exploited as objects daily. I simultaneously love the little Kumi munchkins I teach English to each morning and also despise them all at the same time. The freeness of ignorantly not knowing what is being said around you is beyond refreshing, while still bringing way too much confusion and chaos to every given moment. I make no sense, I agree. I am a complete and utter beautiful mess, an oxymoron if you will. My heart is full of probably some of the deepest joy and happiness I have ever felt yet, I will walk throughout the day and become over taken by sorrow as I realize my own constant brokenness along with the brokenness of those around me. While contemplating about these thoughts and feelings, I have come to a wonderful conclusion. That yes, maybe nothing makes sense whatsoever, but is it really supposed to? The fact that it all makes no sense makes all the more sense, because we are all imperfect humans just trying to figure out this thing we call life. We don’t have to have it all figured out and it can be confusing and a mess and a masterpiece all at the same time, frankly it is much more beautiful and unique when we do allow our lives to be like this. I am freed by this thought, it allows me to live free of all pressure because myself and you included don’t have to have it all together.
I may not know anything but one thing I do know is The Most High knows it all and his love overrides all my insufficiencies.
Peace and Blessings,
K.L.M.
