Dabbling of rain, a light breeze causing the wind chimes to sound, and a mug of warm tea intertwined with my fingers for warmth. This is my happy place. I have many happy places, but this one is completely appropriate for the current state of my soul. I am completely at peace, resting in the Lord’s goodness and promises. Reflecting on the past two weeks I ask myself “how could it get better than this?” and I’m reminded this is just the beginning. Yet, I am content here, at rest.
Asking “how are you, soul?” is a question I often forget to ask myself, but in the past 10 days I know exactly how my soul, mind, emotions, and body have been. I’ve been stretched, exhausted (mind, body, emotions) overwhelmed, filled, overflowed, empowered, pushed, pressurized, and informed. Throughout training camp I reminded myself, that this is preparation, just a mini version of what the race would actually be. I could chew on that thought for hours because the past 48 hours since arriving home I have realized the extent to which I have been affected by training camp. I truly have been changed. It’s overwhelming for me to try to explain, just because of the depth of the shift. Something deep down in the makeup of who I am has changed. This leads me to the question “how will I be when I come back after 11 months?” The answer: a completely different person.
Going into training camp I had no idea the intensive training that AIM had prepared for us. Their intentionality to focus on not just one area of preparation but EVERY area was so blessed by the Lord. In the first day the Lord convicted me of a heart problem: selfishness. He showed me this through the incredible selflessness of my squad mates. Keep in mind, this was the first day, so within 12 hours of meeting the people I’ll be spending a year abroad with I was challenged to walk more like Christ by their walks. This is confirmation for me that these are my people. There is a supernatural bond between all 19 of us, because of the selfless love we have for each other. “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” 1 John 4:8 I am truly honored to be spending this time with my squad, and I couldn’t have possibly handpicked a more challenging, loving, and supportive group of people. It is SO vividly clear that we are all ordained by God to be on the World Race together.
As I sit here in the stillness in between now and October I slowly start to loosen my grip on constant communication with family, flushing toilets, and the independence of making my own decisions. To do this is preparation, I must commit to this journey with the Lord. Having one foot in America, and one on The Race is not an option for me. I want ALL that the Lord had in mind when he called me to this ministry. So I let go of comfort, in exchange for growth; and release my expectations in exchange for his wild adventure. Here’s to not just 11 months of abandonment, but a lifetime…actually eternity. Yep, I’ll spend eternity actively choosing him over and over again…this is just the beginning.
