4 months. 4 whole months. 4 entire months have flown by. All the while I’ve been carrying this weight that wasn’t even mine to drag around. I carried it around everywhere I went. It affected me in every way possible. It made me unhappy. It made me close myself off. It made me regret everything I had ever done. It was a weight I couldn’t bear anymore. I read the book of Hosea so many times, the pages are thin, the words are smeared from tears and sweat, the entire book is neon yellow from the highlighting. It tore me apart. It destroyed me. Wrecked my life.
Until last week. Until Thursday 12/22/2017. God had all the pieces in his hands just waiting for me to give up this weight that wasn’t mine. I reopened my eyes. I relooked at the verses I’ve torn apart the last 4 months. I realigned my heart with the Lord.
Hosea 2:14-20
“Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will giver her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will respond as in the days of her youth, as in the days she came up out of Egypt. In that day, declares the Lord, you will call me “my husband”; you will no longer call me “my master”. I will remove the name of Baals from her lips no longer will their names be invoked. In that day I will make a covenant for them with the beasts of the field, birds in the sky, and creatures that move along the ground. Bow and sword and battle I will abolish from the land, so that all may lie down in safety. I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in rightousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord.”
God removed the battle. He wanted to her to be filled with peace. He wanted her to know joy. He wanted her to feel love. So he fought the battle for her. He pulled her near and carried her through. He removed the weight and nailed it to a tree 779 years later with His son’s blood, just so He could carry her and fight her battles.
God took Gomer and said “I know you want to run. I know love scares you. I know you fear emotions. I know you feel people use you. I know you feel used.”
Tirzah (Hebrew): She is my delight
God said “But I delight in you. You are my beloved. I will show abounding love to you, my daughter, I will restore what was lost. I will seek you and know you. You need not to fear.”
God said this to me too. He picked me up. He gave me a new name. He called me Tirzah. He delights in me. He picked up the weight I was dragging and filled me with his light. His light in me radiates my name; Tirzah.
What a God I serve. He sees my life and delights in me. He loves me and nailed the weight of sin and shame to the tree. He carried me through my battles. Thank you God for your relentless pursuit of me. Thank you for your redeeming love for me.
P.S. If you have never read Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, I highly suggest you do. It’s absolutely astonishing. So thankful I had the opportunity to read this book and soak in each word. So so so thankful. 10/10 recommend.
