I’ve been home for over a month now!
Time FLIES in America. Seriously, the culture here is so fast it’s insane to me!
Some days are wonderfully wonderful and others are incredibly hard. Which was expected. To dive into everything that’s happened within this last month would take quite a while.
So instead of sharing with you all the details that encapsil the grit and joy days, I wanted to share a story that happened this last week. A story that is honestly the epitome of the American culture I see today, and my time back in the states.
After about three weeks of being home, Adventures in Missions puts on a debrief week for all that have just gotten off the field. They call it “Project Search Light” and they put it on down at their base in Gainesville, Georgia. I flew down there and had one of the best weeks of my life. Reuniting with sweet friends, attending lessons created to help with adjusting back to home and lots and lots of fun and goofiness that was oh so good for the soul.
A few of our lessons were about ministry back in America and what that looked like for us. What it looked like to continue to listen to God’s voice in the hustle and bustle that is America. What it looks like to be continually obedient and disciplined in Him when we could so easily go back to our old selves, that we worked so hard to grow out of on the race. We talked about the hurt and pain in America and the many, many opportunities we’ll have daily, to bring Kingdom down to Earth. At the end of the week I was as excited as ever to get back home and really dig into the lifestyle I had lived on the race, back home in Portland.
On my flight out of Atlanta, I planned to introduce myself to whoever sat next to me on the flight and try to start up a conversation. Most of the seats on the flight were filled with beaver fans, celebrating the college world series they’d just won. An older man sat next to me, probably in his late 60’s, decked out in OSU beaver gear. He was goofy, made a few jokes, and I felt comfortable, as if I was sitting next to a grandpa. He asked why I was going to Portland and I told him I lived there. Then he asked why I was in Georgia and I told him because I was just on The World Race. After further explaining the race to him he asked what countries I’d been to. When he heard the Philippines he said he’d been there too.
My first thought was “Oh no, why do older men go to the Philippines…no no no. Please don’t let this be the case” (sex trafficking). Granted, we’d met and lived with multiple AMAZING men of God working and running ministries in the Philippines. But for some reason my first thought was that he wasn’t there to necessarily “help”, since the majority of men from out of country visit there for sex tourism.
After all these thoughts came and went, I asked why he had visited there, and immediately noticed the anxiousness of his body, as he was hesitant to answer. Rubbing his hands up against his face, as if he was stressing himself out just thinking about why he’d been there. He told me that it was kinda weird but his friend had met a filipina women there and they ended up getting married and having a great life together. So he went to the Philippines to find a girl too.
He went to the Philippines to get a girl.
His words, not mine.
My blood BOILED
My heart, sunk deep into my chest. My blood, bubbling up inside of me. Anger ready to rage, as if I was an aerosol can on this plane, ready to blow.
It took everything in me not to start bawling my eyes out. Everything’s still so fresh. Bar ministry, those girls, delighted in by Jesus. But as nothing to these lost men. How my heart breaks for those sweet faces I pray to always remember. That I pray will be set free from the chains this world encased them in.
As my brain exploded with every possible thought I had for this man, every muscle in my body kept my mouth shut, keeping me from going off on him. From making him feel uncomfortable, attacked or whatever else that God gave me as a reason to not go off on him. To make him feel shame was the last thing I wanted to do.
To the man sitting next to me in 34D. I want to tell you how much that breaks God’s heart. I want you to know that you chose to damage your own soul, mind and body. Let alone the women in the bars or on the side of a street that you went to go “get”. I wanted to go off on you and tell you that those girls you were looking at to bring home, to buy, are divine women created by The Most High, not created to be sold or used. Created to be loved and to love. What we’re all created for. To “JUST LOVE”. To tell you that you are loved beyond comprehension, and so are they.
My vision is blurry from the hot tears flooding my eyes, burning to slide down my cheeks. Writing this is hard, really hard. My heart breaks. Into what seems like a million pieces. For my sweet filipina sisters, that I had the privilege of getting to meet. And for every human in the bars that is trafficking.
God’s breaking my heart for what breaks His. And the brokenness in America, is what’s been put on my heart the most recently. He took me around the world, to get a glimpse of the darkness that is America. To give me a different perspective on the place I’ve lived my whole life. To see the chains America is held down by, and to plant an undeniable passion to serve and love in any possible way I can, in the place that I originally wanted to get away from so badly.
But God doesn’t call us to run away from darkness. He tells us to approach it with boldness, in His authority. Prepared to fight with the love that drips from our core. He brought me to men to talk to in the bars in Angeles City, and placed one right next to me on an airplane two months later. The World Race; preparation for life in Oregon, life in Portland, life in America, with the American people. The Lord has plopped so many opportunities right into my lap for this next season and I am stoked to see what happens next in life!
Thanks for keeping up with me this last year. It’s been an honor to get to share stories and experiences with you all. Blogging has been an incredibly humbling experience and a reborn excitement for writing.
Peace out!
