Change is something that terrifies me. 2017 is a year filled to the brim with change, so you might say I am slightly intimidated. Here we are, a month into the year 2017. This is the year I graduate high school and turn 18. This is the year I pack up my life into a 65 L bag, and leave behind my friends, family, and home to travel to numerous unfamiliar places alongside many unfamiliar faces. The life I am returning to is not the life I am leaving behind. I am extremely excited, but more often than not I find myself overwhelmed, immobilized by fear. By being too focused on everything I am leaving behind and the impossibility of the entire situation, I am completely disregarding how utterly and irrefutably God is in control.
This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to go to Dare to Be, a women’s conference with worship led by Natalie Grant and bible sessions from Charlotte Gambill, for the second year in a row. Last year, I went with not much of an idea as to exactly what it was, but with complete confidence that God would be present. I left changed in ways I never imagined. Words of truth were spoken over and into me that I had never fully believed about myself prior to that night. I finally began to start to understand (because I don’t think any of us will ever be fully capable of comprehending) just how vast and unconditional God’s love was for me. I realized that I truly was enough, just as I am. I vividly remember, through blinding tears, feeling my feet move towards the stage, seemingly on their own, to recommit my life to Christ. Before that night, I thought that Christians were supposed to be the ones that had it all together. I thought we weren’t allowed to be broken, our lives weren’t supposed to be messy anymore. That is far from the truth. Our God loves us despite the cracks. Without cracks, how is the light of Christ supposed to shine through?
This weekend was a completely different experience, however just as special. One of my squad-mates came to visit Zoe and I this weekend, so I spent Dare to Be with those two lovely ladies as well as 3 of the coolest middle school-ers I have the pleasure of knowing. This year I stepped back and was able to see God transforming the lives of the beautiful girls I know and love deeply. I watched as they shouted praise, unrestrained, arms lifted high, tears streaming down their faces. The ability to sit back and watch God work, especially in the lives of those you love, is indescribably beautiful. This year, I again felt my feet move towards the stage, this time guided by my little cousin. It was such a beautiful, perfectly full circle to be able to walk hand in hand towards that same stage, this time as a spectator.
It was in this moment that I realized how necessary change is. We are not designed to be stuck in the same moment, struggling with the same problems, and living the exact same day to day. There is no growth in that. 2017 is simply a change of seasons. A major shift in seasons, yet a shift none the less. I have discovered my worth in Christ. I know who I am, it is now my time to go and tell others who THEY are: royalty. Sons and daughters of the ONE TRUE KING. And although change is painful at times, the rewards are great. Fear is still very prevalent leading up to my trip, however I will no longer allow it to be a hindrance.
