Being in rural Botswana for two months has been quite interesting- to say the least. As I mentioned in my last blog, rain season has brought some extra free time….
One day, our hosts offered to take us elephant watching at sunset. Unfortunately, it began to rain so we were stuck in our rooms for the rest of the afternoon and evening. With the potential of adventure and a cool story all of a sudden gone, a few other girls and I decided to make our own adventure and cool story. We gave each other stick and poke tattoos (don’t worry mom, we didn’t go over it enough so none of them even stayed). Something interesting about stick and poke tattoos is that they are against Adventures in Missions’ rules and code of conduct.
For the first month of being in Botswana, our leader was in New Zealand due to issues with her visa. Once she arrived, she saw the stick and pokes. She didn’t say much, but went and took the time to pray about it, as well as, talk to people in spiritual authority over her. Which, to start with, displayed such a Godly approach to the entire situation.
Everyone sat down (all twelve of us, not just the ones who did stick and pokes) and Lucie took the time to teach us about walking in holiness and conviction. It was in no way condemning and I learned quite a lot. One really interesting point that I want to share with you all is how conviction is God’s kindness. If we come to God in vulnerability of our sins, and we ask Him to convict us, there’s no room for shame. I hate sin and God hates sin, so when we agree on that and bring it into the light, God allows us to grow from that sin. Therefore, conviction is actually unifying between humans and God, is a gift from Him, and glorifies His goodness and kindness.
Lucie asked us to bring everything she had spoken and taught on to the Lord. She encouraged everyone to sit with God and listen to what He wants to convict us on.
God convicted me in many ways. Surprisingly, I learned the most after bringing the “disobedient stick and pokes” action to God.
Background:
When I first started thinking, this didn’t seem like that big of a deal. Compared to other things I’ve been in trouble for (at home, not on the World Race- just wanted to clarify), this was just childish fun. We didn’t break any of the “big” rules, we didn’t sneak away from our leader and deceive her, we were just having a good time and creating a fun memory. But by disobeying leadership, that’s a sin, and sins are directly against God. He has no room for ANY sin to even be in His presence. Whether I think of a friend in an unkind way or murder someone, all sin is equal in His eyes.
This is what God began to reveal to me after spending time with Him:
I believe that I chose to do stick and pokes for two main reasons. Having an immense amount of free time and there being a lack of leadership- both which are horrible excuses and I will get to further in this blog.
The first thing that came to my mind was Judges 8:33-35 (ESV).
“As soon as Gideon died, the people of Israel turned again and whored after the Baals and made Baal-berith their god. And the people of Israel did not remember the Lord their God, who had delivered them from the hand of all their enemies on every side, and they did not show steadfast love to the family of Jerubbaal (that is, Gideon) in return for all the good that he had done for Israel.”
Reading through the OT, I have unfortunately realized that I am basically an Israelite. Whenever they do something, it seems to always correlate with my past and current actions. Judges is a book based entirely on leadership for the Israelites. It seems that when a “good leader” is present, the Israelites are “good”. But as soon as a “bad leader” comes into the picture or a “good leader” dies/leaves, the Israelites completely crumble. Verse 34 said that as a result of Gideon- a “good leader”- dying, the people not only turned to another god, but they flat out, did not remember the Lord their God. The moment their leader died, it wiped God, His merciful and good deads, and perfect and consistent love from their minds!!!!! Are you kidding me??? I know that Lucie didn’t die (praise The Lamb !!!!) and I know that I didn’t forget who God was, but after lacking her presence for practically a month, in some ways, I chose my own path.
The Israelite’s faith was one hundred percent dependent on the presence and guidance of a leader. Am I this dependent on a leader???? If my faith is fully dependent on whether a spiritually mature person is around me or not, my faith is equivalent to nothing. My faith needs to be solid and founded, to the point where it remains the same whether ANYONE is there to witness it or not. If I want to have any sort of maturity in my relationship with the Lord- which I completely do- then it is all on me…. NOT a leader.
In less than 6 months, I am going to be without a leader (a leader who lives and eats and sleeps and does everything with me) and have tons of free time on my hands- the two things that lead me to the stick and poke fiasco. Does that mean that in less than 6 months my relationship with the Lord will disintegrate? NO!!!!
I am genuinely grateful that Lucie brought this up because I don’t think without me looking into this sin I would have figured out these things about myself. I might have ended up at home, realizing that I have complete freedom with my time and no leadership sleeping 5 feet from me, and not known what to do with myself.
I am so thankful for my leaders fighting for me and calling me higher. It has made me aware, more in tune with my relationship with God, etc., etc.
Last point, I promise. The way my leaders chose to discipline me through all of this was completely biblical, fully from a place of love, and thought through so well. I have never been disciplined in such a manner and have never seen any of my friends been disciplined like this. I am so thankful for this happening because I truly believe that this is how God disciplines us. He calls us higher, never brings shame, and it’s all out of love. I can feel all of that. It made me think of how far off in the future I want to parent and made me excited to go back to work at the preschool and babysit.
