I know It’s been a little while since I’ve blogged. You can usually bet that when the time between blogs increases beyond a week it’s because I cant figure out how to say what I want to say (or more likely what I want to say). As I was praying myself to sleep last night the Lord put this particular topic on my heart and I knew that I’d need to write it today, so here I am.
Parents. That word can bring about a lot of emotions for each of us. I have experienced the full spectrum of feelings for my parents over my lifetime, as I’m sure most people have. But my parents are special. I’m sure yours are too, but I’m going to brag on my particular mom and dad because it’s my blog and I do what I want!
Last month my parenrs, along with about 25 other parents, came to see their kids on the mission field. They flew across the world, battled jet lag and flight delays to get to spend a few days with their children. My parents spent about 5 days in Romania, being shuffled between cities and villages in crowded hot vans and released full control of their lives to the authority of my program staff and the local church we’re serving. They stayed with host families, shared rooms, bathrooms, seatbelts, drank weak coffee sometimes no coffee when we ran out. They walked a lot. They got to see where I lived and how I spent my days. They met Roma children and families and were heartbroken over a lot of what they were exposed to. They ate what was set before them and met new people from unfamiliar places. They attempted to fall asleep to the sound of dogs barking and awoke to the roosters crowing. They had to get everything they’d need for a week in Europe into a carryon size luggage and ALSO find room to bring me all the things I’d requested from the states. They were patient as we waited for instructions and schedules and got to see how things get done in a part of the world they’d never been to.
I know. They’re pretty incredible. I had to keep reminding myself before they got there that they were not expecting a European vacation. They knew they were coming to participate in a mission trip and were not expecting all the physical and mental comforts of home. But that’s not even the part I want to brag about.
My parents are divorced and have been since 2010. They most likely haven’t spent five full days together since I was in high school, and these were very long days. Spending five days working with anyone can be challenging, and while my parents’ relationship is by no means perfect, they really couldn’t have exemplified God’s grace more. I didn’t have to worry about them fighting. I didn’t have to worry about leaving them alone for a minute while I ran an errand. I didn’t have to worry that it would be AWKWARD. Which is a serious praise. I just didn’t have to worry. And I haven’t had to worry for a long, long time, because years ago my parents made a commitment to parent us in a sacrificial way that included getting along With each other. That included forgiveness. The kind of forgiveness Jesus gives us and asks us to give our brothers and sisters. They worked hard at creating a relationship that was going to help them love their children well and I got to taste the fruits of those efforts last month. I still don’t quite understand it. I know things aren’t perfect and I’m sure that their week together brought struggles that they protected me from seeing. I know that this type of relationship isn’t in the cards for every child of divorce but thats why I want to highlight it. The Lord has blessed me with parents who love their kids so much that they were willing to put their own baggage and emotions aside and pursue reconciliation.
But that isn’t even the full reason I want to brag on them.
I KNOW. Just wait.
My divorced parents flew halfway across the world to spend less than a week with me participating in a Christian mission trip. But my parents aren’t “Christians.” They never took me to church. We didn’t talk about God or Jesus at home growing up and my mom made it very clear that she wanted us to follow our own paths when it came to faith, and when Jesus found ME they were very supportive.
Having not been raised as a Christian, I’ve had my fair share of uncomfortable experiences within the church. I truly could write a book. Let’s lay the fact that we believe that a man claiming to be the son of God was born to a virgin and died then rose again three day later and still lives today aside. The gospel and allllllll the crazy things the Bible tells us aside, Christian culture is weird. The way we talk, the way sway and raise our hands up when we sing, being prayed for or having to pray over someone— it was all so disorienting as a new Christian and often very uncomfortable. But in my case I had said yes to Jesus and was interested in figuring it all out. My parents didn’t necessarily say yes to Jesus, they said yes to me.
They said yes to supporting and loving their daughter to a point where even if they’d be serving a church who believes something they don’t, they still wanted to be all in because I’m all in. They stood and sang along to worship music because I was worshiping. They bowed their heads in prayer as we prayed through each day. They became uncomfortable because joining me meant walking into uncomfortableness. They served their hearts out and saw poverty and brokenness in a way they’d never seen before and asked how they could help. “How can we give? How much do you need?” they kept asking the church. They may not identify as evangelical Christians but they sure looked a lot like Jesus.
For someone to do all of that… I really can‘t grasp it in its entirety. I know it was hard for them. I know it was physically, emotionally and mentally demanding as are a lot of my days on the field. But they still did it. I know it was a sacrifice in order to spend time with their daughter but I know they would do it a hundred times over.
I often wonder if all of the woes of child-rearing would be worth the sacrifices for me (add selfishness to the list of reasons of why I’m not ready for kids). I do desire children at some point, but I cant really imagine giving up everything for anyone. I see my parents, and all that they endure for the sake of their children and am reminded of our Heavenly Father and all he has endured for our sake. He has endured all because He has deemed us worthy of his all. And he gives us the opportunity to taste the same love he feels for us by making us parents and giving us children. So I pray at some point that if the Lord provides a husband and children to me that I can exemplify that sacrificial love I see in my parents and experience through Christ.
And for those of you wondering if I am praying that they will accept Jesus as their Lord and savior, the answer is yes. I pray the entire world would know Jesus the way I have come to know him and experience the fullness of his grace and love. But, that is between them and the Lord, and me if they are so inclined to invite me into it. But for now as I pray for them I give thanks to God for choosing them for me and for their parents who raised them (shout-out to you, Grammy). They are special people who love me more than I can comprehend, and I am trying my best to love them that way too.
