I don’t know where to begin. I am going to do a brain dump of my feelings and thoughts. Here they are:
A month is a long time and a short time, and our first one ends today. It doesn’t feel real. My new normal is drinking black instant coffee as I read my bible, sleeping on a cot with three of my teammates as we try to wind down from pranking each other, and 4 pm sugar cravings as our bodies have quickly become acclimated to Chilean hospitality.
We’ve done so much ministry with so many different individuals it’s hard to keep it all straight. We have done home visits, prayer and worship events, led workshops, ministered alongside the women of our beautiful church home, given testimonies, gathered for prayer and tea and coffee and allllll the bread. We led a weekly youth group for the “jóvenes” of the church, frequented local businesses to know and pray for the owners. On one glorious Friday afternoon we marched for Jesus with tens of thousands of Chileans.
We spent time in homes and churches and soccer fields and sport courts and at flea markets and in kitchens. We played Wii, *attempted* the Cueca, ate all the cookies and drank all the coffee. We played improv games and learned Chileno/Castellano Spanish and saw the changing of the Chilean national guard. We cried and we begged Jesus for healing and hope and the peace he promises us in his word. We heard stories of the history of this beautiful nation, both ancient and modern and got to walk into some physical pieces of that history. We were exposed to true hurt and pain and a deep love through knowing the body of this church. We heard some of the most beautiful prayers we’ve ever known even though we couldn’t understand every word. We said yes to vulnerability and unconditional love within our sisterhood and team. We let ourselves stay up until 1 am on weeknights working things out because we refuse to let our human nature and sin get in the way of God’s work here. We got sick, injured, and had lots of hard days. We let Jesus drive this month and I wish I hadn’t waited so long to give him the keys.
Leaving is hard. Despite everything hard this month I hadn’t shed a tear until last Friday night, our last night with the jóvenes or “youth” of the church. Since then, it’s been on and off as we make our it through our goodbye lunches, teas, coffees, dinners, desserts, and church services. We only have one goodbye left today and I’m dreading it. Our host/Chilean dad Pastor David has offered to drive us all the way to our debrief location on the coast of Chile so we could save money and not take a bus. Which means we get to wait on that goodbye for a few more hours.
Seeing pain and working with people walking through it is not new to me. In my work in public education and nonprofits I often prided myself on how I didn’t take my work home with me, no matter how hard the story. I felt I was well-prepared for this trip and that I would be able to keep my head above water throughout the months and 11 sets of goodbyes. Lies. This month has wrecked me. I have met people who care so deeply for the Lord and his kingdom and they pray for me as if I’m their child. They care for us as if we’re here forever and share with us as if they had no limits. I can’t find the words to talk about it accurately so I don’t call home. I can’t write about it because there’s just so much happening and I know I’ll miss something.
What I want to leave you with is this: you have to know how deeply our God cares for you. This month he showed me how profoundly important people are and that he has such beautiful and wonderful plans to glorify himself through the good, bad and ugly things. The often inconceivable and unexplainable love of our Heavenly Father was poured out over me through people this month. He told me, “Hey, I know it’s easy to forget that I love you, but I promise I do and I never forget you. I promise you I love you with an unending, unconditional love. I’m going to give you this time in Chile to experience it in a new and awesome way.” God created man to love. Jesus tells us that our chief concerns are to love the lord with all of our heart and soul and mind and to love our neighbor as ourselves. We got to show our love with our *limited* words, songs, laughter, energy, and our willingness to hop on a plane and spend a month on the other side of the earth. Our Chilean brothers and sisters showed it to us in all they did to care for us. Washing clothes, making food, taking us shopping, giving us historical tours, taking work off early to drive us where we needed to be or simply share a meal. I could go on. I am so overwhelmed by their love and the form it takes here. It makes me think about how I love and where I can grow in love. I desire to grow and truly give myself to others the way my Jesus asks and enables me to. He loves us so much and wants us to see each other the way he does.
AH. I need to end this. There are too many thoughts and feelings and not enough energy in my body to get it all out here. You’ll have to trust me when I say that being in Chile has changed me and I would recommend a month’s stay here to just about anyone. Unless you are really uncomfortable with throwing your toilet paper in the trash instead of flushing it. Then you may have a harder time in Chile. Everyone else, stop putting off your Duolingo Spanish lesson and book that flight to Santiago.
Ciao, nos vemos. Dios le bendiga
Kati
‘Bye, see you. God bless you
Katie
