Speaking in front of people is my greatest fear. I hate being on stage. I hate when everyone’s eyes are on me and I’m the center of attention. It honestly makes me want to throw up even thinking of it right now. So it was pretty weird when I volunteered to share my testimony at church this morning. It was almost like my hand went up and I said, “I’ll give my testimony“, before the logical part of my brain could even click.
Too late now.
When my team got to the church this morning, we sat outside and relaxed for a bit before they let us inside. Caleigh was going to give the sermon and was visibly feeling ill and seemed distracted. There was almost like a fire burning inside of me of strength that we shouldn’t be afraid to speak and share Truth, but we should be so excited! The enemy should be scared because we were about to change some lives! I gave Caleigh a little pep talk, but mostly because I was the one needing the encouragement, and then we went inside.
They had rows of chairs set up for us on the stage at the front of the church and we took our seats facing the congregation. It was a small church, there were maybe 50 or so people gathered sitting on the floor waiting for us to begin. 50 people may not seem like a lot, but for somebody who would rather eat bugs than speak in front of others, 50 was a crowd.
Caleigh gave a sermon on Jesus being tempted by the devil in the wilderness and it was received so well! She did such an amazing job and I was so encouraged by her bravery. Then it was my turn. I just inhaled a deep breath and said a quick prayer that my story would be well received and something would happen.
Well something did happen. Authority happened. I stood up there, with absolutely no fear, but confidence. I had never felt more qualified than I did in that moment. I have never shared my testimony to a room full of people. I only just shared my testimony to my teammates a week prior. Heck, I had never even spoken of some things that happened to me until earlier this year. This was crazy that I was sharing all of this with complete strangers.
But the thing was, they weren’t strangers.. They were my brothers and sisters, and for whatever reason, God chose me to share my story with them this morning because what He did in my life could speak to them in some way.
How amazing is it that I could share something so deeply personal and painful to me, and have others who speak a totally different language and live in a totally different culture than me be able to relate to me! God is using my pain to bridge a gap between two different worlds, and connecting us through our redemption in Jesus. I was able to show others that even in the worst of circumstances, God is love and He will restore and confirm us, because He loves us.
I stood today fully clothed in my identity through Christ, and spoke with authority to my brothers and sisters to encourage them along in this hard life. It was probably one of the biggest mental breakthrough’s I’ve had. My ‘aha’ moment was remembering that fear is a tool of the enemy, and not from God. So I had a moment of clarity that the devil has been making think I’m scared of speaking to others, because he knows I will change lives with my voice. I then went down a crazy rabbit hole that I want to be a young adult pastor and start doing workshops and public speak all the time haha. I’m an extremist.
It was just amazing to get over one of my biggest fears and succeed! Today was an empowering day!
