I have a vision for this next year on The World Race – I want this to be a year of firsts.
I’m no stranger to travel, having lived and worked abroad previously, but I still feel like there is so much I haven’t seen. Now here me out. This isn’t a year to check a bunch of things off of my bucket list and take cool pictures. Although that will happen, that’s not my priority. When I say a year of “firsts” I mean I first want to take a step back and learn.
This will be a year of observing. This will be a year of letting go.
There is so much I don’t know. There is so much I am ignorant of and so much I want to learn.The world is full of raw beauty, from different languages, cultures and people to unusual landscapes and architecture. I have recently been studying the creation and I am so completely overwhelmed and in awe of the intricacies of how God created everything. It would be so foolish to not take this opportunity to learn all I can about people, places and how great God is.
Recently, being still has been a theme in my life. I’m a “go-getter” or so I’ve been told. I literally have lists everywhere and a plan for every avenue of my life. It’s really hard for me to let go of things and let God take full control. I usually think my plan is better and that I have everything under control. God has been speaking to me, telling me to BE STILL, to TRUST him. Being the control-freak that I am, it’s been difficult. I justify everything in my life.
“Well God made me this way. He made my a Type-A planner, so acting this way is OK. It’s God’s “plan” (blah blah blah).
I constantly have to remind myself that God’s plan will always be better than my plans.
The LORD will fight for you, you only have to be still. – Exodus 14:14
Be still, and know that I am God. – Psalm 46:10
I’m telling you, stillness is my mantra right now. I want the act of being still to be something that I don’t just practice this month, or even the next eleven months, but something that I practice every day for the rest of my life. There is something so powerful in not always having to be the first to speak, or the first to act, but to just observe.
To first be patient. To first listen.
So yes, I want this to be a year of firsts by eating weird things, going to new countries and making new friends – of course. But ultimately I want this to be the first time I completely let go of my plans and let God go before me in every thought, word and action I take.
The way I see it is the Bible and this whole Jesus thing are either true or they aren’t true. My way is either better than God’s because He’s not real, or He is real and His plans for me are real too.
I’ve lived according to my will majority of my life, and honestly, I’ve really screwed up some things. I’m not proud of some of the decisions I’ve made. I have a lot of issues with trust, being vulnerable and (shocker) control. Let’s just call it what it is, and what I’m doing is just not working. I’m convinced that whatever God wants to do in my life will bring me so much healing, strength, and joy. Reading about the creation and studying my identity through Christ has taught me that He is so much more loving and intimate and magnificent than anything I could have ever imagined. I don’t want to do it my way anymore. My way sucks!
If this year can be about anything, if this year can teach me anything, may it teach me to be still and let the fullness of God’s love and mercy totally consume me and point everything back to Him. This is a year of loving God first, of letting go of my control and living in a totally radical way.
