This past week at our World Race Launch in ATL Bill Swan spoke to all the team leaders about people pleasing. When he told us the topic of the session I was thrilled. I have often identified myself as a people pleaser as have most of my friends. I long to make those around me happy and comfortable. In our society people pleasing is totally a sexy sin.
Yes you read that right, and no that is not like me to say. I almost didn’t call it a sexy sin because I feared what you may think – aka even now I am trying to make you happy! (p.s. Allison my squad leader coined that term just now)
The reality is that people pleasing is approval addiction. As Bill Swan shared with us, “it’s a tension between dying to ourselves and extracting attention and affirmation from others”. People pleasing is a pretty problem to have because it has the appearance of service, sacrifice, and love. If we are frank with ourselves it is actually manipulative and self serving. Can you think of a time when you did something nice for another only to get what you need whether it’s affirmation or a favor? Approval addiction is something we desperately need to get clean from.
If we truly believe that every ounce of our value and identity comes from the Lord we will not need to manipulate others to get the affirmation and praise we desire. One analogy my mother frequently speaks of is the idea of a cup overflowing. If we have our identity in Christ our cup is full and will spill over onto others. Whereas if our cup is empty, we are going around like a beggar trying to get others to fill our cup for us.
Ben Able who also spoke wisdom into us during our team leader training shared, “If you want to set people free you have to be set free from people”. In order for me to be an effective leader who empowers others to break down their walls and step into what the Lord has for them, I must be grounded in the truth that the Christ alone speaks to my value. I know that God is doing a work in me in this particular area of my life, and I am excited to see the ways through which He redeems me!
Over and out.
Julia
