Over the past 8 months, I’ve really been working on my relationship with the Lord. Before the race, I was what some call a christian atheist. Yes, I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but I promise you it’s not. In the book, the Christian Atheist (very good book, highly recommend) the author explains how christian atheism is, in short, saying you’re a christian but not living that out. I was going to church every Sunday and Wednesday, I prayed before I went to bed sometimes, and I read my Bible occasionally. I wasn’t living life like Jesus did and I didn’t see a problem with that. Now that I have lived a life that is dedicated to God and not dedicated to looking like a christian, I never want to go back.
I want to say that even though I have had this change of heart, I am definitely not anything close to perfect. I still deal with a lot of the same issues that I did before the race and while I’m working on it, it’s still really hard. I know that I make mistakes and thats okay.
You might be wondering why I’m telling you all this. I’ve been thinking a lot about college and the blog I posted about it. Yes, I still believe that I have a passion for helping people that have had issues with abuse, but I don’t want to give up my passion of baking either. I think when the Lord revealed the desire of helping people that have been abused, I got a little too ahead of myself and I immediately jumped to conclusions. Yes, the Lord did tell me that I have that desire inside me, but I think I just assumed that meant I had to go to college and get a degree and be a counselor. Since I have continued to pray about it, I’ve decided that I want to take some more time to decide what I want to do. 7 months ago, I would have told you that I needed to have a plan lined up for the second I got home, but now I know that it’s okay to not know. so I’m going to take my time, pray, weigh out my options, and decide what I want to do. Currently, I’m not sure if college is still the best option, but it’t not out of the picture. I’m going to keep an open mind and I’m not going to rule anything out, because after all, anything is possible.
