Well, the race is over. I haven’t had wifi in 3 months, and I am finally home. Thank God for LTE, Hot Showers, bagels, and me being reunited with my dog. I really hit the jackpot on where I was born. But, since re-entry I have needed to post blogs, this is on things I have learned about being a person. It isn’t necessarily spiritual and does not contain any scripture, but they are things I learned on this trip (I will have another blog about what I learned about Christianity soon). Living with so many other individuals will teach you things, but lessons aren’t that important unless they are worth sharing. These are the seven that I believe are worthy of being shared.
BE YOURSELF
“Just beeeeeeee yourself.” – Genie, Aladdin
This old adage, told most often to insecure kids and adolescents, rings true for the rest of us who believe we have ascended beyond this childlike wisdom. The truth is, many people sacrifice who they are to play part in the masquerade of who others want them to be. Believe me, acceptance is a siren song I know all the words to. But, in the end, we all must forge our own way down the long, rewarding path toward hard-earned individuality, with all of its flaws.
APOLOGIZE AND FORGIVE OFTEN
You will not always be right. You will not always be wrong. Hopefully, you will always be learning. You see, atonement is a sacrifice of pride, an explanation of why you did what you did or said what you said will not vindicate you. If the cost to heal someone is only your pride, then apologize and be grateful that you received peace at such a bargain. You must realize that some, like yourself, are still learning. If forgiveness is not possible then think of everything you have ever wanted to be forgiven for but weren’t. Hold that uneasiness in your mind until you feel your desire for absolution becoming a wish, realize you can grant this wish for others. Know that if you are waiting for forgiveness, be prepared to wait; be prepared to stand in the path of time and wither. Respect that forgiveness is difficult, not all trespasses are equal, and not everyone will heal according to your schedule.
DO NOT FEAR TO BE HATED
Do not fear to be hated, but be cautious towards those who are inhabited by hate. You will be hated. Regardless of who you are, what you say, or what you do. You will be hated for your successes or failures, for good looks, bad looks, for intelligence, or stupidity. Hate is the child of the hater, nurtured by the beliefs it is fed. You often will have no control over what you are hated for. Know that, antipathy, becomes the master of its owner, and that if you are going to be hated regardless of who you are, then be fearless enough to be who you want to be.
REALIZE THAT POOP IS FUNNY.
It’s a fact.
EXPRESS YOURSELF.
In the past, I often hid behind this talk less, smile more mentality, which led into me believing, “Nobody can get mad at me for what I say if I don’t say anything at all.” But, there is no reason to sacrifice individuality for acceptance. Which is why, often, I used to cut out the middleman, making everything I said for everyone, always. Everybody can’t turn around and tell everybody, everybody already knows, I told them. For me, vulnerability wasn’t an option, and without noticing it, I never let others get to close, whether I liked it or not. You see it’s sad, but its a sadness I chose. Slowly, I had to learn the importance of self-expression. You have to let people know what you’re for, or you will waste your whole life waiting for the right moment, the right lighting, the assurance you’re not going to look like an idiot: an assurance that, in most lives, never comes. You have to try.
YOU ARE NOT HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF ANOTHER
At some point, most of us sympathetics out there need to learn the important, if disappointing, life lesson that no matter how good our intentions, we cannot control the behavior – let alone the character structures – of other people. The sane would do no good if they made themselves mad to help madmen.
“THERE IS NO PROBLEM SO AWFUL, THAT YOU CAN’T ADD SOME GUILT TO IT AND MAKE IT EVEN WORSE.” CALVIN & HOBBES
