Thank you to everyone who asked questions on my last blog! Y’all asked great questions about things I have experienced, what I’ve learned, and the big “WHAT NOW” for when the Race ends for me. Here are all my answers!
What was your favorite adventure/free day?
Ooooh that’s a toss-up. I loved going to Lake Atitlan with my team in Guatemala. We got out of the city for two days, spent some time swimming and playing in the lake, experienced a miraculous healing, went cliff jumping, and spent much-needed quality time as a team. It was a really sweet experience. My last adventure day with that same team was in Lesotho, and we went on a wild adventure to Maletsunyane Falls. After 3 hours in a car we didn’t think would make it, we followed Dora-the-Explorer directions and some sweet kids and a shepherd boy to the falls. On the way there, we sang Bible songs with the kids, and I shared my lunch with our shepherd boy. Becks did some donkey-whispering, Naomi was rejected by some skittish horses and fell in a muddy creek, Melissa rocked the sassy buns, and we were in absolute BLISS in a Microsoft-XP-background landscape. It was a great day because it was fun AND Kingdom-focused.
What has been some of the best food you have tried?
I surprisingly enjoyed plantains in Nicaragua – we ate them a new way every day! In Panama, I fell in love with Indian food and I could eat so so much poori and chickpea curry and vegetable korma. I also fell in love/obsession with Bubble Tea in Panama. And there was this one meal I had in Malaysia that a teammate brought home for me that I still dream about; it was fried noodles with chicken and shrimp and it was brought to me in a plastic bag because that’s how they do take-away there – swoon. OH man and the fat cakes in Lesotho… deep fried balls of sweet-dough… wow.
How has your knee been since your injury?
Thanks for asking! I think I’m at 99%. I very rarely have discomfort, and I’ve been able to exercise regularly on it. I am able to walk up and down stairs with ease, and I’ve been running on the treadmill and doing lots of squats, so I have full mobility back, hooray! Sometimes it gets stiff if it is bent for too long, especially when sitting in the car. And I have a nasty scar, which will make for a fun story the rest of my life haha.
What are some things you have learned about yourself?
I have learned so so much this year about my true identity in Christ; it’s been one of my greatest areas of growth. I’ve learned that the things I do never define who I am and that Jesus’ finished work on the cross is what defines me. And because of that, I am free from the power of any evil in my life, and I can claim Christ’s victory as my own in any of my struggles. I have learned that God created me to be a good friend, and that is part of my identity. I’ve also learned that the most powerful parts of us are the parts Satan attacks the hardest, so I struggle with feeling like I am not a good friend. I’ve learned that, though I am a “feeler,” my feelings aren’t always trustworthy to tell me the truth. I’ve learned that I am capable of so much more – emotionally, spiritually, and physically – than I think I am. I’ve learned that I don’t need a leadership title because I naturally carry influence and authority because of Jesus.
What’s something you learned about the Lord that you’d want to teach others going forward?
A relationship with the Lord is intended to be a sweet, sweet friendship. Before the Race, I didn’t have an intimate relationship with God because I was bound up in the lie that He wouldn’t love me or want me unless I was perfect, so my “relationship” with Him was stiff and full of legalism. But this year, those chains broke. And as I learned more and more about the true nature of my Father in Heaven, I fell in love with Him, grew more and more in my trust of Him, and we developed a sweet, sweet friendship. This friendship has changed everything for me, and I want others to experience it, too. This wasn’t something that someone told me about and immediately, I had it. It grew through months and months of intentional time in listening prayer and many trials which drew us closer. I encourage everyone to seek God – seek to know Him as a friend, read His Word and ask “what does this tell me about who God is?,” and be bold to ask Him lots and lots of questions and believe that He can and will answer.
If you could relive one month of the Race for any reason what month would it be?
Every month has had its highs and lows, some more than others, and this question is SO unfair haha, but if I could go back to any month I would have to say – after a lot of deliberation – I would choose Lesotho. I absolutely loved the kids we were with in Lesotho and I very frequently think about them and wish I could be back with them, playing and dancing and drawing with chalk. I wish I could give big hugs to all those kids again and play with them one more time. And buy lots of fat cakes from the lady on the corner and dip them in cinnamon sugar mmm ^_^ It’s hard knowing that I will never know what becomes of those kiddos. I followed blogs of Racers at Tholoana ea Lerato for months after we were there, searching for stories and pictures of the kids so I could see them again. But for years to come, that will be my only connection to them.
What is one thing that you want to take home with you from the different cultures that you have experienced along the way?
One of my favorite cultural experiences on the Race was my time with the Indian community in Panama City. A tradition of theirs that I want to take home with me is the way they celebrate birthdays: after they sing “happy birthday” and the birthday girl/boy blows out the candles, one person feeds the birthday girl/boy a bite from the first slice of cake. Then, the birthday girl/boy feeds bites of the first slice of cake to all of their friends and family. We got to celebrate two birthdays in Panama, and I loved watching and participating in this tradition. It’s a little thing, but I really liked it.
What has been the greatest experience you have had so far?
This seems kind of simple and silly, but I think the most impactful experience I have had on the Race was when I read The Jesus Storybook Bible in Swaziland. I had heard of it before but never read it, so when my carepoint-preschool had a copy, I asked to borrow it over the weekend. As I read it, it awoke within me a huge desire to read the Bible, and not just the “how-to-live-your-life” sections of the New Testament, but the Old Testament, too. It kindled a desire in me to read the OT and learn about the Israelites, God’s beloved people, and their story. Reading the Jesus Storybook Bible through the wonder-filled eyes of a child helped me start reading the Bible with imagination and questions and a thirst to know more and why and how and what color was it?? Jesus Storybook Bible also points every story in the Bible back to Jesus, and as I began to read the Bible more after that, I feel deeply in love with Jesus more and more every day. So reading Jesus Storybook Bible was the catalyst of a handful of things that grew my faith and intimacy with Jesus more than I’ve ever experienced before.
How have you been maintaining proper hyolaryngeal elevation?
I LOVE this question! Haha! The answer: lots and lots of practice!
What is something you have learned that you think is important for other people to know/understand?
This is an incredible question! I have like 958 answers for it, so I’m going to think about it some more and hopefully answer in another blog!
How do you think the World Race has changed the course of your life?
If I hadn’t gone on the World Race, I would probably be in grad school right now, and would probably still mostly be the same person I was before. The Race is like 5-6 years of spiritual growth (or more) shoved into 11 months – a spiritual growth incubator. I can’t really guess what my life would be like if I hadn’t come on the Race, but I believe if I hadn’t gone on the Race, I would still be enslaved to perfectionism, still believe that I have to be perfect in order to be loved, and still believe that everything I feel is true. I would still not enjoy reading the Bible, still operate under a victim mindset, still respond to offense with defensiveness or manipulation, still harbor unforgiveness, and still be apathetic towards prayer. I would still not be able to hear the voice of God or have conversations with Him, still not understand the power of the Holy Spirit, still idolize leadership titles, and still be full of selfish ambition and vain conceit. I would have no idea of what I am fully capable of physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I would probably still have unhealthy friendships and unhealthy habits.
It sounds selfish, but my World Race has mostly been about me. Sure, I served hosts and communities and did lots of Kingdom work, but the greatest change I’ve seen has been in me (and in my squadmates, too). I have changed, even if it sometimes feels like I haven’t (I have to remember that my feelings aren’t always trustworthy to tell me the truth). I will go into the next season of my life very differently than I would have if I hadn’t gone on the Race, and I am very very thankful for the ways God has molded and changed me into this New Jess, the Jess He created me to be, on the Race.
Do you feel a call to full time ministry after being a missionary for almost 11 months on the World Race?
For a little while before the Race I considered going to seminary. I have the spiritual gifts of pastor, leader, and administration, and I thrive in areas when I can press into those gifts. However, I have not received a clear direction or calling from God quite yet. But because of my experience on this mission trip, I know with absolute certainty that all of life is missions, and no matter what I do or where I go, I am an ambassador of Christ, and my purpose is to serve His Kingdom. I am a daughter of God, which means I am also a soldier in His army. And man is it a delight to be His child and His hands and feet to people everywhere.
What are you most nervous about your return home?
Oh boy haha. Nothing about home is normal to me anymore. Driving a car, living in a house, eating food I recognize, signs in my language, clean streets and sidewalks, cooking my own food, sleeping in a room by myself, making my own schedule, seeing hundreds of people a day who look just like me, going to the same church every Sunday, living in the same place for more than a month, seeing my family and friends, having air-conditioning and flushing toilets… none of it is normal anymore. When I get home, I will need to readjust to American culture and discover what my new normal is while doing my best to maintain everything I’ve learned this past year and continue to thrive with Jesus. I’m honestly clueless as to what has happened in America this past year, and I can assume that things have changed and I need to learn all the changes, too. I’m nervous that it will be really hard to adjust. I’m nervous that I will slip into complacency. I’m nervous that people won’t understand that I’ve changed or that I need time to figure out how to live in America again. I’m nervous that I’ll be overwhelmed with the opulence of America. I’m nervous that I’ll isolate. I’m nervous that there will be expectations for me that I won’t be able to meet. And a completely different note, I’m not looking forward to paying for food in USD; in Asia I’ve been able to buy dinner from street vendors for $2 or less, and bubble tea is always less than $2 haha.
What are you most excited about your return home?
I’m excited to discover what my new normal is. I’m excited to rest. I’m excited to figure out how to take everything I’ve learned and apply it to “real life.” I’m excited to be back with my family – biological and faith community. I’m excited to reunite with my friends. I’m excited to see Jon again. I’m excited to go to the gym with my mom. I’m excited to live in a place with seasons and where every building has air conditioning and a reason to use a sweater or blanket or fleece onesie. I’m SUPER excited to meet my niece, Kaidyn, who was born on my first day of the World Race, so I’ve never met her.
What’s next? How has your journey changed your next steps?
When I fly into the States, I will spend a couple days in Yosemite, camping with a teammate and asking the Lord lots of questions about my future haha. I’ll get home-home before Labor Day and want to see EVERYONE. As of right now, I have no “big picture” plans for what is next for my life.
Before the Race – before I even graduated college – I had lots of plans for my future. I was convinced that I was going to go to grad school for Speech-Language Pathology and get married this year. Welp, that didn’t happen haha! This year has taught me a lot about trusting God’s sovereignty and goodness in all things. I’ve learned that He is a gentleman, and His timing is perfect. Which means that when things come up that are hard or I come to a crossroads and need to make a decision, He has orchestrated it perfectly and it’s the exact season He wants me to experience that thing.
Last year I found out 8 weeks before fall graduation that I was eligible to graduate early. Within 24 hours of that discovery, all my “cons” were scratched off my pro/con list, and I applied to graduate early. In the following 6 weeks I wrote and defended my honors thesis, was offered a full-time job in my field of study, and graduated from college. I know with full confidence that the Lord FLUNG those doors wide open for me to walk through! So in the next 5 weeks of the Race, God might fling some doors open for me. Or He and I may wait a little while longer in this season of unknown. But what isn’t unknown is His faithfulness and goodness. I’m content in this season, because He is with me in it.
Thank you all for your questions! It was fun to answer them and use them to process what I’ve learned and what is next for me.
Until next time,
Jess
