Jesus came to destroy a lot of nasty stuff – the power of sin, strongholds, lies of the Enemy, and death to name a few. But He also destroyed another thing: FOMO. Here’s how I’m experiencing freedom from FOMO in my own life.
FOMO stands for “fear of missing out.” It’s commonly experienced when one is not invited to (or unable to attend) an event with friends or one is too far away from a community to actively engage with it. I and my squadmates on the Race will experience a lot of FOMO. From weddings to births to deaths to graduations to engagements to dark valleys to joy-filled moments, I will not be in this country to live life with and walk alongside my current communities for a whole year.
I have very recently experienced freedom from this fear. Liberation began (as it so often does for me) with a breakdown. It happened on a Thursday afternoon when I felt so worn out and burned out. I felt responsible for everyone in my life thriving in their relationships with God and felt responsible to pour into everyone I possibly could… and I felt like I was doing an awful job, like I wasn’t enough. But at the same time, I felt like I had absolutely nothing else to give because I had already given everything I possibly could. And I broke. down. I called a friend, who encouraged me to learn to say “no,” to which I said “no” (I’m only kidding a little bit).
Through weeks of learning to say “no,” spending time in life-giving relationships, devoting myself to reading Scripture and prayer, engaging in active learning and mentorship, diving into so much verbal processing and vulnerability, and taking a lot of much-needed rest, I have come to learn and live out this Truth:
God is present and active in all places. He does not need me to be in all places and engaged with all people.
I can trust that if I am not in a place or not involved in someone’s life, that He is. He is trustworthy to work in that place, with or without me.
He chooses to use me in so many places and with so many people, but He doesn’t need me to be in all places at all times and with all people. That’s His job, and He is really good at it. If I try to take His place in those places, I am not only taking His job, but I am doing it on my own strength and I will fail and probably burn out, too.
He is good and He is trustworthy and He will take care of the people in my life because He cares for them, too! He isn’t going to say, “ah man Jess didn’t go to that social event, I guess I can’t work in that place” or “dang it Jess isn’t invested in this person’s life, I guess I can’t transform them to look more like my Son or bless them.” That’s ridiculous! Haha! God is not limited by our strength or abilities or even our presence (hallelujah!!!)! His Spirit ABOUNDS. WOOOOO THAT’S SUCH GOOD NEWS!
A lot of the FOMO I experience is also rooted in pride: I want to be involved for my own selfish motives. It has been liberating and humbling to learn that if God is active and working in a place or person, I don’t need to be, because He’s got it. I don’t need to feel responsible. I don’t need to feel unloved or unwelcome or inadequate or useless. I’ve tried so so hard to live a life that’s pleasing to God on my own strength (what I thought looked like making myself perfect); it’s downright exhausting. I can boast in my weaknesses, rest in my true identity in Christ, and trust God wholeheartedly.
Never once did Jesus tell us that our calling to make disciples meant that we were personally responsible for their salvation, maturity, or transformation. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job. Never once did Jesus say that we had to please all people or be liked by all people in order to be a good Christian or bring Him glory. He said the opposite, and Paul retweeted Him in Galatians 1:10 when he wrote, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” That’s pretty clear.
MAN but it is so hard to live out! We don’t have to live in fear. We are free, free indeed! Our actions (or lack of actions) cannot change who we are, how much we are worth, or how God sees us, because our identity is secure in Christ. That rocks.
Here’s my prayer over you, dear reader: Father, I ask that you comfort the hearts of the readers for whom this was hard to read and will be even harder to live out. You have walked alongside me through the hard weeks of learning this Truth day by day and moment by moment: I can trust You. I am sorry that we strive so hard and feel so responsible; we have taken Your job, rejected Your strength, and tried to live life without You and still please You. Father, thank You that You have already forgiven us and are beginning a new work in our hearts to trust You. Spirit, I ask that You fill Your people with peace and open their eyes to the goodness and glory of the LORD in the places they feel inadequate, left out, burned out, and hopeless. You are good, God Almighty. We can trust You. Teach us, lead us, and use us. You don’t need to, but You choose to. Thank You! You are good. Amen.
To God be the glory forever and ever. In all of the places I am weak, His glory is magnified. Amen!
Jess
Prayer request: Please pray that the Holy Spirit gives me discernment as to whether the desires of my heart are His leadership or my selfish motives.
