“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard,” -Winnie the Pooh.
This sweet quote couldn’t be more true for the goodbye I’m having to say this next week. This nine month journey has been the greatest gift and I’ve been able to meet the most incredible people during it. I’ve been blessed with fifty new built in best friends through my squad. And I’ve met my sisters that will hopefully stand by me in my wedding one day. This is certainly no easy goodbye. I think it’s going to be the hardest.
It comes in moments where the feelings hit me like a train, and in others it doesn’t feel real at all. I’ve gone through this before a couple times already, having to leave a season of life and trusting the Lord completely. As hard as it has been in the past to FULLY put that trust in Him, this time it’s so much easier. Don’t get me wrong, it’s going to be weird to see everything He has for me next reveal itself, but my God has been nothing but good to me. Yes there will be trials in every season, but I have more of an intamacy with Jesus now than I ever have before. I learn more about who God says I am every day. I’m more confident in my identity than I ever have been in my life.
Everything is going to be new coming home. I mean everything. I’ll be living in a new house, I’ll be going to a new church, and I haven’t been the only one to grow. My friends and family have gone through some hard things and I get to come home and see how they’ve changed too. Oh my goodness am I excited to have coffee dates with mom, sleepovers every night with Sam, and Jesus talks with Abbie. One thing I’m really looking forward to is English church ha!!
All of these things will be a great gift, but the transition coming home won’t be all butterflies and daisies. I’ve just lived in six different countries where I’ve seen hunger, sex trafficking, pain and darkness that you couldn’t imagine unless you’re actually living in it. My heart will be heavy when I’m reminded of things that I’ve witnessed on this trip. I will need my family and friends more than ever when I return. It’s going to be hard not having this community that has become my family at my fingertips. I have to trust God that He is going to give me a new community of people.
I want to remember everything I’ve grown in and learned over this time. I want to share the joy that I’ve taken hold of. It will take time for me to settle back in. I do want to go get coffee with anyone that wants to, or go on a hike. Ask me lots of questions becasue I probably can’t retell you everything that happened to me in nine months. Arkansas I will see you very soon!
Much love
-Jess
